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Some people believe that the most crucial factor to the success of some companies is the communication between workers and employers, while others propose other factors are more important

Some people believe that the most crucial factor to the success of some companies is the communication between workers and employers, while others propose other factors are more important WgR90
Some people believe that the most crucial factor to the success of some companies is the communication between workers and employers, while others propose other factors are more important. In my opinion, I support the latter view. On the one hand, there are several understandable reasons why people propose that communication is the most important factor to succeed for a company. Firstly, when people can find it easy to ask for help from their colleagues so they can help each other to improve the performance. For example, when the staff has problems with their jobs, they can ask their boss for some help and they can solve these issues together. In addition, when people can share their sadness with other staff in the company, they will feel more comfortable and the performance might be promoted. For Instance, in Viet Nam, people who are working in the same company often share their stories with their fellows, so people will be more sympathetic with others. On the other hand, there are some reasons why I side with the latter idea. First, the strategy of a company is extremely crucial to succeed. An illustration of this is that almost successful companies in the world have their own strategies to succeed that other companies do not have. Moreover, The talents of their staff are crucial to reach the targets of companies. For example, when the workers have excellent skills in their major, the quality of products can be improved and the companies can attract more customers to buy their products. In conclusion, while there are several valid justifications for the most vital factors for a successful company is the communication between employers and workers, I believe some aspects of this view are not quite right and I endorse other factors are more important.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that the most crucial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factor
to the success of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
is the communication between workers and employers, while others propose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
are more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
. In my opinion, I support the latter view.

On the one hand, there are several understandable reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
propose that communication is the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factor
to succeed for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
.
Firstly
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can find it easy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ask for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
from their colleagues
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the performance.
For example
, when the staff has problems with their jobs, they can ask their boss for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
help and
they can solve these issues together.
In addition
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can share their sadness with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
staff in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
, they will feel more comfortable and the performance might
be promoted
.
For Instance
, in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Viet
Nam,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are working in the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
share their stories with their fellows,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will be more sympathetic with others.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons why I side with the latter
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
.
First
, the strategy of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
is
extremely
crucial to succeed. An illustration of this is that almost successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
in the world have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
strategies to succeed that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
do not have.
Moreover
, The talents of their staff are crucial to reach the targets of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
.
For example
, when the workers have excellent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
in their major, the quality of products can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
can attract more customers to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
their products.

In conclusion
, while there are several valid justifications for the most vital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
for a successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
is the communication between employers and workers, I believe
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
aspects of this view are not quite right and I endorse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
are more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.

IELTS essay Some people believe that the most crucial factor to the success of some companies is the communication between workers and employers, while others propose other factors are more important

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
299 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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