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7. University students should/ shouldn’t have part-time jobs

7. University students should/ shouldn’t have part-time jobs PkqKB
I think that students should have part time jobs while they are studying in university. First of all, students can get more experiences for their future. For example, some studies show that students who work after school are more confident than otherS who start a job after graduation. In other words, the students with more experience REAP more benefits in the future than students who only attend school. In addition, students will be money-conscious and cherish it. In evidence of this, it is hard to earn money and students can understand THE value of money.
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should have
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
part time
jobs while they are studying in university.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more experiences for their future.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
studies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who work after school are more confident than
Possible spelling mistake found.
otherS
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
a job after graduation.
In other words
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
with more experience REAP more benefits in the future than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
attend school.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will be money-conscious and cherish it.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
evidence of this, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to earn money and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can understand THE value of money.
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IELTS essay 7. University students should/ shouldn’t have part-time jobs

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
95 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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