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Some people believe that the legacy one leaves behind should be money and property to ensure material life for their children. Others say that it should extend far beyond the finance or family boundary. What is your opinion?

Some people believe that the legacy one leaves behind should be money and property to ensure material life for their children. Others say that it should extend far beyond the finance or family boundary. What is your opinion? 1kkqL
Some schools of thought believe that it is better for children to inherit their parents’ property and money to ensure a more prosperous and fulfilled life. However, others think that these legacies should be something far more valuable which could cross the finance or family boundary. In my opinion, spiritual legacies should be handed down to the youngsters and further generations rather than just money. On the one hand, owing to the fact that the descendants might need cash to buy a house or to pay for college, it is necessary for people to leave a bequest including money behind to protect the future of their beloved one. Moreover, if for any reason the children go bankrupt or get stuck in debt, the endowment can be a lifesaver until they find long-term solutions to their money problems. However, I would argue that there are many other things to be passed over which are more valuable than possessions familially and socially. As regards the family, one of those must be family traditions and stories since understanding them is the best way for kids to fall strongly attached to their lineage and have an appreciation for the family’s ancestors. Furthermore, the elder can take time to help the younger and make an effort to be a positive force in their lives, which can influence the way children act with other people. In terms of society, it is a good opportunity to make a lasting impact by donating to a charity, which can bring hope and happiness to the needy. It doesn’t need to be money, for example, people can pay a visit to the orphanage and play with the children here by telling stories. . In conclusion, while leaving money does benefit children a lot, including less stressful life and sufficient money to lead to a happy life, the advantages of inheriting a spiritual legacy ranging from learning about older generations and receiving love and care is better, which can not only help the family but also the society.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
schools of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
believe that it is better for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to inherit their parents’ property and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to ensure a more prosperous and fulfilled life.
However
, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that these legacies should be something far more valuable which could cross the finance or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
boundary. In my opinion, spiritual legacies should
be handed
down to the youngsters and
further
generations
rather
than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
money.

On the one hand, owing to the fact that the descendants might need cash to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
or to pay for college, it is necessary for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
a bequest including
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
behind to protect the future of their beloved one.
Moreover
, if for any reason the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
go bankrupt or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
stuck in debt, the endowment can be a lifesaver until they find long-term solutions to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
problems.

However
, I would argue that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other things to
be passed
over which are more valuable than possessions
Possible spelling mistake found.
familially
and
socially
. As regards the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, one of those
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
traditions and stories since understanding them is the best way for kids to fall
strongly
attached to their lineage and have an appreciation for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family’s
ancestors.
Furthermore
, the elder can take time to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the younger and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
an effort to be a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
force in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, which can influence the way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
act with other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. In terms of society, it is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a lasting impact by donating to a charity, which can bring hope and happiness to the needy. It doesn’t need to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
,
for example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can pay a visit to the orphanage and play with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
here by telling stories.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.


In conclusion
, while leaving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
does benefit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
a lot, including less stressful life and sufficient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to lead to a happy life, the advantages of inheriting a spiritual legacy ranging from learning about older generations and receiving
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
and care is better, which can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the society.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that the legacy one leaves behind should be money and property to ensure material life for their children. Others say that it should extend far beyond the finance or family boundary. What is your opinion?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
337 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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