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Some people believe that the government should provide all help facilities to them while others believe that it should be a human responsibility. Discuss both these views and also give your opinion.

Some people believe that the government should provide all help facilities to them while others believe that it should be a human responsibility. ljG0W
Some people believe that the government should provide all help facilities to them while others believe that it should be a human responsibility. Discuss both these views and also give your opinion. Introduction in some countries the government provide much facility to their people including health education shelter etc but it is often argue by some that the government should facilitate them because many of them were jobless so they can't afford their medication mean while other argue that a human should support by themselves because human is very important source for nation. The people of the nation have to be hard workers. This essay will explore both sides of the argument before reaching a logical point. On the one hand the supporter of the view that government should help the people in help in health facilitation it believe that it couldn't be damaged the economy of government to help their jobless people and provide them medication for example in United State if a person is jobless and they are sick so free service is provided from from government side. Hence providing health facility to the people of the nation is appreciable. while on other hand the advocates of the view that a person should take their responsibility by themselves which believe that every person should not rely on the hand of government facility they have to support themselves for example in the United State the survey was conducted that every citizen of the of them are taking their responsibility by themselves and they are not appreciate to rely on the government facility rather they have the spirit to be responsible thus if a person have that type of spirit will be worked hard and will take their responsibility by himself. However in my opinion I also appreciate that the government will facilitate their people and they will also consider it is their responsibility but I also want to give some advice for the people who are always relying on the government facility. I am not going to appreciate it and every person has the responsibility to work hard and facilitate himself. To sum-up even through government facilities and their support will be a good effect on the people of the nation and also every human have to do their work hard and take their responsibilities but I also want to mention that if these two things were balance the nation will be rise and and prosperity will be the future of that land.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should provide all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
facilities to them while others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that it should be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibility
. Discuss both these views and
also
give your opinion.

Introduction

in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
provide much facility to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
including health education shelter etc
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argue by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should facilitate them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of them were jobless
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can't afford their medication
Did you mean "meanwhile"?
mean while
other argue that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
should support by themselves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
source for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
workers. This essay will explore both sides of the argument
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
reaching a logical point.

On the one hand the supporter of the view that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
in health facilitation it
Did you mean "believes"?
believe
that it couldn't
be damaged
the economy of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
their jobless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and provide them medication
for example
in United State if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
is
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
jobless and
they are sick
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
free service
is provided
Possible typo: you repeated a word
from from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
side.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
providing health facility to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
is appreciable.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
while
on other hand the advocates of the view that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
should take their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibility
by themselves which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
should not rely on the hand of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
facility they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
support themselves
for example
in the United State the survey
was conducted
that every citizen of the of them are taking their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibility
by
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
themselves and
they are not
The verb 'appreciate' is used with the gerund form: "appreciate relying".
appreciate to rely
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
facility
rather
they have the spirit to be responsible
thus
if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
have that type of spirit will
be worked
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
and will take their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibility
by himself.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
in my opinion I
also
appreciate that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
will facilitate their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
people and
they will
also
consider it is their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibility
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I
also
want to give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advice for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are always relying on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
facility. I am not going to appreciate it and every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
has the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibility
to work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
and facilitate himself.

To sum-up even through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
facilities and their support will be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
effect on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
and
also
every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
do their work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
and take their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibilities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I
also
want to mention that if these two things were balance the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
will be
Consider using a past participle here: "risen".
rise
Possible typo: you repeated a word
and and
prosperity will be the future of that land.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that the government should provide all help facilities to them while others believe that it should be a human responsibility.

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
414 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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