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Some people believe that the government should pay for and offer housing to people who lost their homes or cannot afford them. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give your own opinion. Use specific reasons and examples to support it. v.2

Some people believe that the government should pay for and offer housing to people who lost their homes or cannot afford them. Give your own opinion. Use specific reasons and examples to support it. v. 2
Everyone desire for house and other necessities of life but some people are not enough lucky to afford the house for themselves and family. Question arises whether homeless people should remain be without house or government agency should take care about the accommodation requirements of citizens. I firmly believe that it is the responsibility of government to provide house to people who are unable to make. It is general perception that every government provides different services such as health, education, transportation, pension, a place to live etc. Though all services are important for citizens, dwelling is most basic and necessary for everyone for various reasons. Firstly, house not provides the place to live but also create social surrounding required to live life peacefully. In every country, people live in group which creates the conducive environment for people and family to live life together and joyful. For example I have been living in society for last 15 years and made so many friends which helped me to enjoy the life. Secondly, people wants security in the life and having house provides the utmost security in the life. People having house do not need to move to different place and feel secure for their life. One of the Government priorities is to help the people to meet the basic demand and provide opportunities to improve status of life. In the absence of basic necessities like food, house, cloth etc. people suffer invariably and sometimes die. For example, in African countries, people live in shady house and heavily suffer from cyclone, various diseases etc. To conclude, government job is to take care of the people in various ways and provide required facility for living the life. Housing is one of them and provides security and favorable surrounding to citizens.
Everyone
The pronoun 'Everyone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "desires", "desired".
desire
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
and other necessities of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
lucky to afford the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
for themselves and family. Question arises whether homeless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should remain be without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
agency should take care about the accommodation requirements of citizens. I
firmly
believe that it is the responsibility of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are unable to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
.

It is general perception that every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provides
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
services such as health, education, transportation, pension, a place to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
etc. Though all services are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for citizens, dwelling is most basic and necessary for everyone for various reasons.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provides
the place to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
create social surrounding required to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
peacefully
. In every country,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in group which creates the conducive environment for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and family to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
together and joyful. For
The comma is probably missing here: "example, I".
example I
have been living in society for last 15 years and made
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
friends which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
me to enjoy the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
wants
security in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provides
the utmost security in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
do not need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
place and feel secure for their life.

One of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
priorities is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the basic demand and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
opportunities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
status of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. In the absence of
Consider using "necessities".
basic necessities
like food,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
, cloth etc.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
suffer
invariably
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
.
For example
, in African countries,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in shady
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
and
heavily
suffer from cyclone, various diseases etc.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
job is to take care of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in various ways and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
required facility for living the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. Housing is one of them and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provides
security and favorable surrounding to citizens.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
46Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
Language comes first. It’s not that language grows out of consciousness, if you haven’t got language, you can’t be conscious.
Alan Moore

IELTS essay Some people believe that the government should pay for and offer housing to people who lost their homes or cannot afford them. Give your own opinion. Use specific reasons and examples to support it. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
296 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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