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Some people believe that the fast pace and stress of modern life is having a negative effect on families. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that the fast pace and stress of modern life is having a negative effect on families. Yokj
There is currently a contentious argument over whether family life is being harmed by the high-speed and pressure of contemporary lifestyles. I totally agree with this opinion because the fast pace leads to less time for families to be together, and stress leads to arguments among family members. The main reason why I believe family life is being compromised is because families have less time to be with each other. This is due to family members being busier at work and with their social lives. As well as this, people have many things they have to do these days such as checking e-mail, updating their online social status and so less time is left for family life. To illustrate, I spend about two hours online every night attending to daily correspondence before chatting with my family members, whereas ten years ago I would spend time with my family as soon as I walked in the door. Another reason why I support the notion that families are being impacted negatively is that the pressure of life these days means that even when families do get together arguments are more likely. This is because everyone feels tired and they are more likely to get irritated and to react to their heightened emotional levels. In conclusion, I completely agree that the rapid pace and stressful nature of contemporary lifestyles are having negative consequences on family relationships. This is because family members have less time, and when they are together they feel less relaxed. Given this situation, it seems that family members should try to be more supportive to one another and also parents need to set aside regular times for families to relax together.
There is
currently
a contentious argument over whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is
being harmed
by the high-speed and pressure of contemporary lifestyles. I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this opinion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
pace leads to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
to be together, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
leads to arguments among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members.

The main reason why I believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is
being compromised
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to be with each other. This is due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
being busier at work and with their social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
As well
as this,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
do these days such as checking e-mail, updating their online social status and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. To illustrate, I spend about two hours online every night attending to daily correspondence
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
chatting with my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
, whereas ten years ago I would spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as I walked in the door.

Another reason why I support the notion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
are
being impacted
negatively
is that the pressure of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
these days means that even when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
together arguments are more likely. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
everyone feels
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
tired and
they are more likely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
irritated and to react to their heightened emotional levels.

In conclusion
, I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the rapid pace and stressful nature of contemporary lifestyles are having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
relationships. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, and when they are together they feel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
relaxed.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Given
this situation, it seems that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
should try to be more supportive to one another and
also
parents need to set aside regular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
to relax together.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that the fast pace and stress of modern life is having a negative effect on families.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
281 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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