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Some people believe that the experiences children have before they go to school will have the greatest effect on their future life. Others argue that experiences gained when they are teenagers have a bigger influence. Discuss both views and give your own opinions.

Some people believe that the experiences children have before they go to school will have the greatest effect on their future life. Others argue that experiences gained when they are teenagers have a bigger influence. ljjED
Some people believed that experiences on teenage school lif might more influential rather than lower primary children on their future. In my view, the teenage period has moulding an ideal person of children for their future. At the outset, all juveniles interested only on games while thinking of their future development. In this period were increasing their creativity by painting, dancing, playing like wise. Moreover their brain grasping capacity may gaining slowly day by day. In fact mopets never think of their stress and future they just go through their present only. They all are cute and innocent in their pre primary life. On the other hand, in teenager's lif their school experiences is most relevant in their future. Mostly the students change their attitudes and they aiming their goals on this particular time. They have so many stresses about life, causing by the harmonic actions in the body. Consequently these hormones shows so many versatile personalities which effects on their future. However, in my vintage view the adolescent life is more complicated because of their emotion, also they can realize on the reality. Eventhough they may independend and haven't any restrictions, so I think this is the most preferred period for their life. In conclusion, experience in adolescent life is overlays the childhood behaviour which results the real character of people.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believed that experiences on teenage school
Possible spelling mistake found.
lif
might more influential
rather
than lower primary children on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
. In my view, the teenage period has
Possible spelling mistake. 'moulding' is British English.
moulding
an ideal person of children for their future.

At the outset, all juveniles interested
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
on games while thinking of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
development. In this period were increasing their creativity by painting, dancing, playing like wise.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
their brain grasping capacity may gaining
slowly
day by day. In fact
Possible spelling mistake found.
mopets
never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
go through their present
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
. They all are cute and innocent in their
Possible spelling mistake found.
pre
primary life.

On the other hand
, in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
's
Possible spelling mistake found.
lif their
school experiences is most relevant in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
.
Mostly
the students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
attitudes and
Did you mean "they're aiming", "they are aiming", or "they were aiming"?
they aiming
their goals on this particular time. They have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stresses
about life, causing by the harmonic actions in the body.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Consequently
these hormones
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
versatile personalities which effects on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
.
However
, in my vintage view the adolescent life is more complicated
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their emotion,
also
they can realize on the reality.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Eventhough
they may
Possible spelling mistake found.
independend
and haven't any restrictions,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this is the most preferred period for their life.

In conclusion
, experience in adolescent life is overlays the childhood
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
which results the real character of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that the experiences children have before they go to school will have the greatest effect on their future life. Others argue that experiences gained when they are teenagers have a bigger influence.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
222 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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