Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people think that hard work helps in achieving financial success while others think it is not the only thing that contributes to financial success. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that hard work helps in achieving financial success while others think it is not the only thing that contributes to financial success. 0AAqB
Although it is sometimes thought that to achieve financial success ought to be hard work, other people believe that other things are important to achieve financial success. In my opinion, I consider that other activities contribute to high financial accomplishment. On the one hand, some people think that hard work is the main key to achieving high personality, respect and popularity. In other words, hard work helps to motivate yourself and believe in your work which is doing something new. For example, those students are already working hard, they get good scores in their exam compared to other classmates. Furthermore, hard work encourages us to fulfill all tasks in any situation to achieve the best success later in life and it gives more fame and power against others globally. On the other hand, it is often believed that it is better if people include other activities to achieve financial success like smart work is as important as hard work and I agree. People need powerful skills and techniques that people face in the world. Due to lack of communication skills people lose their unique opportunity and they could not get their dream. For instance, students get good CGPA in their higher education due to hard work and after completing their education they apply for an interview, but lack communication skills, therefore, they are rejected. Another reason why skills are useful for people is that they can learn to negotiate to achieve success. In conclusion, while people may vary in their opinion, I think that people stand a better chance to succeed both in professional life and in personal life if they have multiple skills.
Although it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
achieve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
ought to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
things are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
achieve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
. In my opinion, I consider that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
activities contribute to high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
accomplishment.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is the main key to achieving high personality, respect and popularity. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to motivate yourself and believe in your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
which is doing something new.
For example
, those students are already working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
scores in their exam compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
classmates.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
encourages us to fulfill all tasks in any situation to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
achieve
the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
later in life and it gives more fame and power against others globally.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
believed that it is better if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
include
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
activities to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
achieve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
like smart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
need powerful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and techniques that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
face in the world. Due to lack of communication
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
lose their unique
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
opportunity and
they could not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
their dream.
For instance
, students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
CGPA in their higher education due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and after completing their education they apply for an interview,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
lack communication
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
,
therefore
, they
are rejected
. Another reason why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
are useful for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
that they can learn to negotiate to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
achieve
success.

In conclusion
, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may vary in their opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
stand a better chance to succeed both in professional life and in personal life if they have multiple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Some people think that hard work helps in achieving financial success while others think it is not the only thing that contributes to financial success.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
274 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • Some people think that hard work helps in achieving financial success while others think it is not the only thing that contributes to financial success. Discuss both views and give your opinion.