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Some people believe that teenagers should concentrate on all school subjects but others believe that teenagers should focus on the subject that they are best at or that they find the most interesting. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Some people believe that teenagers should concentrate on all school subjects but others believe that teenagers should focus on the subject that they are best at or that they find the most interesting. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion jWew
In this twenty first century 'Rat Race' is everywhere for upbringing pupils, some portion of population believe that, if theri students want to become a successful in life, they have to set a goal for stunning lifestyle therefore a child should learn all the subjects because "there's no free lunch", at the same time others think that school children must set a target only on a subjects with which they are interested. In my opinion a juvenile is a blank slate and should learn all the subjects. On the one hand a school going students have strong receptors to grasp study materials. If teenagers focusing on all the subjects which they learning, it will be very helpful in near future, for instance, if they have some general knowledge about all subjects it will be remarkable benefits in competitive examination, similarly if they studying all the subjects during schooling, they will never stagnant at the middle of the point where a student at 'approach and avoidance conflict' they are able to fight; a child can have another door to be succed in their lifeOn the other hand some persons believe that every pupils must focus on one subject which they like the most, so they can take more interests in perticular subject, to become a perfectionist. Moreover if a child is targeting on a one subject will feel less burdon and less pressurised and can study without feelings of stress for example, the students has less subjects to learn once feel less depression and for that reason, teenage-suicide rate will be down. To conclusion rather than the focusing only on a perticular subject, however, make oneself in a soft corner, what I think is a teenage should learn different subjects and can make themselves ready for any situation in future regarding jobs or any crisis. If they have knowledge in other subjects they can do different jobs according to thair demands of life.
In this twenty
first
century 'Rat Race' is everywhere for upbringing pupils,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
portion of population believe that, if
Possible spelling mistake found.
theri
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
want to become a successful in life, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
set a goal for stunning lifestyle
therefore
a child should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
there's no free lunch
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
, at the same time others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that school children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
set a target
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
on a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
with which they
are interested
. In my opinion a juvenile is a blank slate and should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
. On the one hand a school going
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
have strong receptors to grasp study materials. If
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
focusing on all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
which
Did you mean "they're learning", "they are learning", or "they were learning"?
they learning
, it will be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
helpful in near future,
for instance
, if they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
general knowledge about all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
it will be remarkable benefits in competitive examination,
similarly
if
Did you mean "they're studying", "they are studying", or "they were studying"?
they studying
all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
during schooling, they
It seems that a verb or adverb has been misspelled or is missing here.
will never stagnant
at the middle of the point where a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
at 'approach and avoidance conflict' they are able to fight; a child can have another door to be
Possible spelling mistake found.
succed
in their
Possible spelling mistake found.
lifeOn
the other hand
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
persons believe that every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "pupil"?
pupils
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
focus on one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
which they like the most,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can take more interests in
Possible spelling mistake found.
perticular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
, to become a perfectionist.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
if a child is targeting on a one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
will feel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
Possible spelling mistake found.
burdon
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
Possible spelling mistake. 'pressurised' is British English.
pressurised
and can study without feelings of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
for example
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
has
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun subjects is countable.
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
once feel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
depression and for that reason, teenage-suicide rate will be down. To conclusion
rather
than the focusing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
on a
Possible spelling mistake found.
perticular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
,
however
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
oneself in a soft corner, what I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
is a teenage should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
and can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
themselves ready for any situation in future regarding jobs or any crisis.
“If” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If
they have knowledge in other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
they can do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
jobs according to
Possible spelling mistake found.
thair
demands of life.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that teenagers should concentrate on all school subjects but others believe that teenagers should focus on the subject that they are best at or that they find the most interesting. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
322 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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