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Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well. n0oe
It is considered by few communities that Youngsters should do voluntary work in their extra time which will be a good contribution for their society and I strongly agree they shouldn't waste their precious time should utilize that in work whether its free. First of all I would say that Youngsters are our future. They surely take responsibility related to their society not only they will gain knowledge as well as will get experience for future problems. They fresh minded children will give new direction to our society many problems would solve with that. Therefore, They should use their knowledge practically by doing free jobs or social works etc. By doing that they will not only get a good job in future also they will know their capabilities by giving benefits to society moreover they will know the social problems and will upgrade themselves too. Furthermore, these works will give them positive attitudes too they will be more happy. They can get more opportunities by having the market experience also able to make friends. Some companies also offer some tours which can also be great leisure for them. But they can also get some problems too because some do focus on working and don't give proper time to their studies and left their studies in mid which can be bad for them, and should not compensate their studies with work. In the end I would surely recommend that youth should give importance to voluntary work that will be good for them as well as will make their community strong.
It
is considered
by few communities that Youngsters should do voluntary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in their extra time which will be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
contribution for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
and I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
they shouldn't waste their precious time should utilize that in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
whether
Did you mean "it's" (="it is") instead of 'its' (possessive pronoun)?
its
free.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
I would say that Youngsters are our future. They
surely
take responsibility related to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
they will gain knowledge
as well
as will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
experience for future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
.
Possible mistake. Please verify.
They fresh
minded children will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
new direction to our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
would solve with that.

Therefore
, They should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their knowledge
practically
by doing free jobs or social works etc. By doing that they will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
job in future
also
they will know their capabilities by giving benefits to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
moreover
they will know the social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
and will upgrade themselves too.

Furthermore
, these works will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
attitudes too they will be more happy. They can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more opportunities by having the market experience
also
able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
friends.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
also
offer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
tours which can
also
be great leisure for them.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
they can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
do focus on working and don't
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
proper time to their studies and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
their studies in mid which can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
for them, and should not compensate their studies with work.

In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
I would
surely
recommend that youth should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
importance to voluntary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
that will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for them
as well
as will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their community strong.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well.

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
259 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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