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Some people believe that technology is harmful for environment while others believe that technology can solve environmental problems. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

Some people believe that technology is harmful for environment while others believe that technology can solve environmental problems. BWB19
Nowadays the link between habitat and computers being researched by people. People hold different views about whether technology has a bad effect on the environment or robotics are friendly to humanity in resolving ecological challenges. My take on this, technology can assist us in our struggle against environment issues. On the one hand, it is advocated that, technology has damaging consequences on the ecology. First of all, with development of technology individuals utilize more electricity. Considering that green energy alternatives are widespread in few countries, the methods of to meet increasing electricity demand of humanity seriously rise amount of carbon released into the air. Therefore, ecology is irreversible damaged. Secondly, ruling over the space is becoming important for governments and large companies now, and a plethora of rockets and satellites are being sent into cosmos. These rockets pierce through the ozone layer and because of these holes ultraviolet rays of sun freely enter our earth atmosphere. Ultraviolet radiation affects not only humans but also wildlife as well. It leads to a loss specious of plants and reduce global food supply. On the other hand, I support those who believe that technology offers us effective ways to solve today’s environmental problems. The principal reason that, because of technology we can do some research on ecology and results of these investigation help us recognize environment and learn more about environmental problems such as global warming. Understanding issues deeply is the biggest step in solving it and computers provide us to take it. Moreover, no matter how much technology provides an increase in electricity, the way to reduce it and make it healthy also depends on technology. Renewable energy sources, electric cars, smart homes and smarter lifestyle decline average carbon footprint of a person. Soç how you approach innovations changes a lot about its impact on environment. In conclusion, also it is claimed by some that environment is damaged by high tech, I side those who believe that technology can assist us with ecological problems when used correctly.
Nowadays the link between habitat and computers
being researched
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
hold
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
views about whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
effect on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
or robotics are friendly to humanity in resolving ecological challenges. My take on this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
can assist us in our struggle against
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
issues.

On the one hand, it
is advocated
that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has damaging consequences on the ecology.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, with development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
individuals utilize more electricity. Considering that green energy alternatives are widespread in few countries, the methods of to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
increasing electricity demand of humanity
seriously
rise amount of carbon released into the air.
Therefore
, ecology is irreversible damaged.

Secondly
, ruling over the space is becoming
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
and large
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, and a plethora of rockets and satellites are being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
into cosmos. These rockets pierce through the ozone layer and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of these holes ultraviolet rays of sun
freely
enter our earth atmosphere. Ultraviolet radiation affects not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
humans
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
wildlife
as well
. It leads to a loss specious of plants and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
global food supply.

On the other hand
, I support those who believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
offers us effective ways to solve
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s environmental problems.

The principal reason that,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
we can do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
research on ecology and results of
Did you mean "this investigation" or "these investigations"?
these investigation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us recognize
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
and learn more about environmental problems such as global warming. Understanding issues
deeply
is the biggest step in solving it and computers provide us to take it.

Moreover
, no matter how much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
provides an increase in electricity, the way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
it and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it healthy
also
depends on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
. Renewable energy sources, electric cars, smart homes and smarter lifestyle decline average carbon footprint of a person.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Soç
how you approach innovations
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
a lot about its impact on environment.

In conclusion
,
also
it
is claimed
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
is damaged
by high tech, I side those who believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
can assist us with ecological problems when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
correctly
.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that technology is harmful for environment while others believe that technology can solve environmental problems.

Essay
  American English
7 paragraphs
335 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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