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Some people believe that technology has made man more social. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

More and more people think that sophisticated modern technology enhance and improve people’s social lives. Although I strongly advocate this view, but this essay will discuss both the sides with examples and prove arguments. On the one hand, there are ample, powerful, and daily instances that such advanced technology has adverse effects on the human lives especially on the young ones because of its addictive nature. Furthermore, people prefer to use phones, emails, and chatting instead of face to face interactions. Therefore, they feel out of the loop every time and consequently experience lack of social skills and isolated from society. Along with this, technology or social media has a damaging effect on mental health as it encourages a sedentary lifestyle. For instance, people do not bother to remember contact number, addresses, birthdays and plethora of other information about their love ones. On the other hand, new technology like facebook, facetime, skype, and whatsapp make long distancing interactions easy and possible. Person who is away from his home can interact with his family or friends within no time without any geographical barrier. As a result, they less likely experience loneliness. Moreover, modern technology allows people to do meetings overseas through video conferencing which leads to save time. Therefore, they can spend more time for hobbies, friends, and family. Overall, technology has some adverse effects like health problems and lack of social interactions but it gives wide range of comfort and facilities to human beings for the proximity.
More and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that sophisticated modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
enhance and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. Although I
strongly
advocate this view,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this essay will discuss both the sides with examples and prove arguments.

On the one hand, there are ample, powerful, and daily instances that such advanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has adverse effects on the human
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
especially
on the young ones
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its addictive nature.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
phones, emails, and chatting
instead
of face to face interactions.
Therefore
, they feel out of the loop every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and
consequently
experience lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and isolated from society. Along with this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media has a damaging effect on mental health as it encourages a sedentary lifestyle.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not bother to remember contact number, addresses, birthdays and plethora of other information about their
Did you mean “loved ones”?
love ones
.

On the other hand
, new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
like
Possible spelling mistake found.
facebook
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
facetime
, skype, and
Possible spelling mistake found.
whatsapp
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
long distancing interactions easy and possible. Person who is away from his home can interact with his family or friends within no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
without any geographical barrier.
As a result
, they less likely experience loneliness.
Moreover
, modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to do meetings overseas through video conferencing which leads to save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
Therefore
, they can spend more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for hobbies, friends, and family.

Overall
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
adverse effects like health problems and lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
interactions
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it gives wide range of comfort and facilities to human beings for the proximity.

IELTS essay Some people believe that technology has made man more social. with this opinion?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
247 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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