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5. Some people believe that rich countries should provide poorer countries with help that is not financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is clear that wealthy nations should provide less privileged countries with not financial aid but other ways. While I agree that some financial aid is necessary, I believe that other method of support is also urgently needed. On the one hand, developing countries always huddle on their governmental budget, as a result they need financial support from rich countries to control their own problem. Essentially speaking, with a huge amount of money can be a good resource to help develop themselves, they can buy things they need. Additionally, since the state had initiated actions, they need a lot of money for the crucial human resources, specifically, for their salary. Consequently, they need enough help to maintain and upgrade the quality for their country with financial aid. Take North Korea as an example, the South Korea government offered them a huge a mount of money about 20 years ago, to help the people get out from poverty because the state of South Korea supposed to help them be more progressive. On the other hand, however, financial aid is not the only way to help less progressive nations. First and foremost, wealthy countries could help them develop language proficiency, they are able to learn proper communication means, and this contribute to globalisation. After learning, they can do whatever they want, thanks to knowledge of communication. An excellent illustration of this is, few years ago, a number of Korean people visit the small tribe in Africa and taught the Korean language to them, and this enables to them earn more money in South Korea as a migrant workers since their learning, this might be a good way to make a progress in their national economy. In conclusion, as analysed above, it is well-known fact that developed countries should help developing nations with both financially and other ways.
It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that wealthy nations should provide less privileged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
with not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aid
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
. While I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aid
is necessary, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
method of support is
also
urgently
needed.

On the one hand, developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
always huddle on their governmental budget,
as a result
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
support from rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to control their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
problem.
Essentially
speaking, with a huge amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
can be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
resource to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
develop themselves, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
things they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
.
Additionally
, since the state had initiated actions, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for the crucial human resources,
specifically
, for their salary.
Consequently
, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to maintain and upgrade the quality for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aid
. Take North Korea as an example, the South Korea
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
offered them a huge a mount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
about 20 years ago, to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
out from poverty
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the state of South Korea supposed to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them be more progressive.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
however
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aid
is not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
less progressive nations.
First
and foremost, wealthy
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countries
could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them develop language proficiency, they are able to learn proper communication means, and
The verb ‘contribute’ is plural. Did you mean: “this contributes”? Did you use a verb instead of a noun?
this contribute
to
Possible spelling mistake. ‘globalisation’ is British English.
globalisation
. After learning, they can do whatever they want, thanks to knowledge of communication. An excellent illustration of this is, few years ago, a number of Korean
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
visit the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
tribe in Africa and taught the Korean language to them, and this enables to them earn more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in South Korea as
The plural noun “workers” cannot be used with the article “a”. Did you mean “a migrant worker” or “migrant workers”?
a migrant workers
since their learning, this might be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply “progress”.
a progress
in their national economy.

In conclusion
, as
Possible spelling mistake. ‘analysed’ is British English.
analysed
above, it is well-known fact that developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
The verb ‘help’ is used with an infinitive: “to develop” or “develop”.
developing
nations with both
financially
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
.

IELTS essay 5. Some people believe that rich countries should provide poorer countries with help that is not financial aid.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
305 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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