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Some people believe that technology has made man more social. To what extent do you agree or disagree with your opinion?

Some people believe that technology has made man more social. with your opinion? MDxa
According to some with advent technology, humankind becomes more sociable. I partially agree with this idea because although it may increase social vibrancy between people, it has emotional and physical negative effects on people especially juveniles. Generally speaking, there are two main reasons why people believe that with emerging technology people are more sociable. Perhaps the main reason behind that is people can keep in touch with their friends and family living in other countries. For example, they can send their photo and information to each other even people could participate in events like birthday and wedding in the form of virtually; therefore, these improvements help to increase the bond between people. At the same time, unlike in the past, people today can travel easily wherever and whenever that they want. Realistically, this issue helps them to see their loved one in the shortest time possible, as a result, people not only can see each other, and they could save their time and energy. Despite these arguments, many people feel that technology has adversely affected the public. The primary reason for believing this is that with the innovation of social media teenagers are encouraged to use it more and more which has a detrimental effect on mental health. Sadly, this phenomenon is because nowadays teenagers spend at least 30 hours in the week on some applications like Facebook, Instagram, and what's App. This would in all likelihood lead to isolation from society, and they feel bored, unmotivated, and even depressed. Besides, unfortunately using social media reduced face-to-face interaction between individuals, so this problem can cause that people forget communication skills. If they do not have this ability, they are sure to have difficulty in real life. They will not able to communicate with their family, deal with their colleague in the workplace, or become successful in their field. To sum up, it seems that technology plays a vital role in life because it not only eliminate geographical barriers in the world that nowadays people can connect freely and easily together but also it endangers some traditions and skills in society such as social skills and face-to-face meeting.
According to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
with advent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
, humankind becomes more sociable. I
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
although it may increase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
vibrancy between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, it has emotional and physical
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
especially
juveniles.
Generally
speaking, there are two main reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that with emerging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more sociable. Perhaps the main reason behind
that is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
in touch with their friends and family living in other countries.
For example
, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
their photo and information to each other even
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could participate in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
like birthday and wedding in the form of
virtually
;
therefore
, these improvements
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to increase the bond between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. At the same time, unlike in the past,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
can travel
easily
wherever and whenever that they want.
Realistically
, this issue
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
one in the shortest time possible,
as a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
each other, and they could save their time and energy. Despite these arguments,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has
adversely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
the public. The primary reason for believing this is that with the innovation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
are encouraged
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it more and more which has a detrimental effect on mental health.
Sadly
, this phenomenon is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
nowadays
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
spend at least 30 hours in the week on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
applications like Facebook, Instagram, and what's App. This would in all likelihood lead to isolation from society, and they feel bored, unmotivated, and even depressed.
Besides
, unfortunately using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
face-to-face interaction between individuals,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
this problem can cause that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
forget communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. If they do not have this ability, they are sure to have difficulty in real life. They will not able to communicate with their family, deal with their colleague in the workplace, or become successful in their field. To sum up, it seems that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
plays a vital role in life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
eliminate geographical barriers in the world that nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can connect
freely
and
easily
together
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
it endangers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
traditions and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
in society such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and face-to-face meeting.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that technology has made man more social. with your opinion?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
357 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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