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All criminals should have access to education and rehabilitation programs while in prison. To what extent do you agree or disagree on this IELTS topic?

All criminals should have access to education and rehabilitation programs while in prison. on this IELTS topic? 5YgV
Nowadays, criminals are still increasingly on international level world, many people believe that must be proposed a programs for educating and rehab prisoners in their jail years. This essay will analyze that in detail. Diminishing crimes is required demand for successful and prosperous country. some people suggest that we have to applied educational programs to rehab prisoners, which could be effective to improve their personalities, value and thoughts. for instance, the Frank Abaignail, the famous artist who did frauds millions of people was given training during his jail years and now he works for FBI to catch other criminals. admittedly, giving another chance to offenders, could improve their lives. In addition to, the most reason for criminals is money, some of offenders suffer from their financials statue, especially if they unemployment and that will lead to many crimes in their society, as long as if support the workforce to enhance their chances to get job after released them, will reducing the criminals in the society, furthermore, the penal system not only enough to deter crimes but also the rehabilitation programs could be vital key to minimize the crimes and that give them sense of self- esteem as not neglecting category. In conclusion, this essay discussed the importance of rehabilitation programs which educating prisoners might be an effective factor in order, help the prison to get back their status as responsible citizen in their society, I believe that the offenders are human and every human might be make faults in his life, hence deserve to get another chances.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
are
still
increasingly
on international level world,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be proposed
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
for educating and rehab prisoners in their jail years. This essay will analyze that in detail.

Diminishing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
is required
demand for successful and prosperous country.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
suggest that we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
applied educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
to rehab prisoners, which could be effective to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their personalities, value and thoughts.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
instance, the Frank
Possible spelling mistake found.
Abaignail
, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
artist who did frauds millions of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
training during his jail years and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
he works for FBI to catch other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
admittedly
, giving another chance to offenders, could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

In addition
to, the most reason for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
is money,
After 'some of', you should use 'the' ("some of the offenders") or simply say "some offenders".
some of offenders
suffer from their financials statue,
especially
if
Do not use a noun immediately after the pronoun 'they'. Use a verb or an adverb, or possibly some other part of speech.
they unemployment
and that will lead to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
in their society, as long as if support the workforce to enhance their chances to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
job after released them, will
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "reduce"
reducing
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
in the society,
furthermore
, the penal system not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to deter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the rehabilitation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
could be vital key to minimize the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
and that give them sense of self- esteem as not neglecting category.

In conclusion
, this essay discussed the importance of rehabilitation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
which educating prisoners might be an effective factor in order,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the prison to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
back their status as responsible citizen in their society, I believe that the offenders are human and every human might be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
faults in his life,
hence
deserve to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
another chances.
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IELTS essay All criminals should have access to education and rehabilitation programs while in prison. on this IELTS topic?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
257 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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