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Some People Believe That Technology Has Made Man More Social

Some People Believe That Technology Has Made Man More Social DooWm
In this ultra modern era, every person is depend on technology and no-one wants to leave without it. Whereas technology has made person more social that thing is deem by number of people. This essay will suggest that the why I am favouring of this statement and reasoned conclusion To commence with, In current scenario every person has been using technology there are a plethora of reasons about this statement. The first reason is that connect to each other. Moreover, some people has been using a social app because this app provides a chatting and video calling option which connects to two persons who lives far away from each other. For example, Mark Zuckerberg developed Facebook which is first social app in world. This application gives us a plethora of features such as chatting, voice call, location track, and many more. As a result these things leads to people connect each other, know each other and made more socially. Secondly, Technology always provides many thing which is very help-full to people. So man made more independent. In addition, today people life has become busy so on that time they can’t help to each other on that time technology helps them, without any other person help. Furthermore, Google has been developed Google location app, which is a location app in whole world. This app help to people make more independent. While their near and dear person busy on their life and that application help to earn their destination. Thus, This leads to people made more independent. To sum up, unquestionably, we cannot deny the many advantage of technology and I totally agree with that statement because of some reason which I already explained in paragraph.
In this ultra modern era, every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
is
Consider using a past participle here: "depended".
depend
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
and no-one wants to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
without it.
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
more social that thing is
Consider using a past participle here: "deemed".
deem
by number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. This essay will suggest that
Did you mean "why"?
the why
I am
Possible spelling mistake. 'favouring' is British English.
favouring
of this statement and reasoned conclusion

To commence with, In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
scenario every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
has been using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
there are a plethora of reasons about this statement. The
first
reason is that connect to each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
has
been using a social app
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this app provides a chatting and video calling option which connects to two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
persons
who
Did you mean "live"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'persons' should be used.
lives
far away from each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
.
For example
, Mark Zuckerberg developed Facebook which is
first
social app in world. This application gives us a plethora of features such as chatting, voice call, location
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more.
As a result
these things leads to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
connect each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
, know each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
and made more
socially
.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
always provides
Possible agreement error. The noun thing seems to be countable; consider using: "many things".
many thing
which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
-full to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
made more independent.
In addition
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
life has become busy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on that time they can’t
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
on that time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
them, without any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
.
Furthermore
, Google has
been developed
Google location app, which is a location app in whole world. This app
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
more independent. While their near and dear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
busy on their life and that application
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to earn their destination.
Thus
, This leads to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
made more independent.

To sum up,
unquestionably
, we cannot deny the
Possible agreement error. The noun advantage seems to be countable; consider using: "many advantages".
many advantage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
and I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with that statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reason which I already
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
in paragraph.
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IELTS essay Some People Believe That Technology Has Made Man More Social

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
284 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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