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Some people believe that technology has made man more social. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? v. 124 v.12

Some people believe that technology has made man more social. with this opinion? v. 124 v. 12
The advent of sophisticated modern technology has plagued civilization since the beginning of its invention. Whereas some societies strongly disagree that mobile phones, laptops and PCs have helped to improve people social lives, others believe the opposite has become the case. Personally, I strongly advocate the latter view. The following essay will cover European approaches using real world examples to support arguments. Multifold advantages of technological developments cannot be denied. There are also tremendous benefits for levelling the playing field. For example, an extensive study by Oxford University illustrated that people who work, or study abroad and use applications like Facetime and WhatsApp to chat with their families, less likely to experience loneliness and feel out of the loop than those who do not. Secondly, evidence of daily life shows that laying the responsibility on schools and organizations to limit screen time is clearly an erroneous policy. In most humanitarian governmental bodies, scientific reports have proved that people who spent hours online on their phone or computer unconsciously are more prone to depression and social anxiety. However, the same study shows that children whose screen time was limited by parents up to two to three hours usually have higher IQ than their peers. Therefore, although it is undoubtedly contentious, parents should be more diligent to what content their children consume and try to control how many hours they spent in front of the PC. To conclude, it is clear when the people limit their screen time, albeit under duress they stand to benefit. Furthermore, when users utilize the technology to organise social events the overall communication has a multiplier effect, therefore both actions should be strongly encouraged.
The advent of sophisticated modern technology has plagued civilization since the beginning of its invention. Whereas
some
societies
strongly
disagree that mobile phones, laptops and PCs have
helped
to
improve
people
social
lives
, others believe the opposite has become the case.
Personally
, I
strongly
advocate the latter view. The following essay will cover European approaches using real world examples to support arguments.

Multifold
advantages of technological developments cannot
be denied
. There are
also
tremendous benefits for levelling the playing field.
For example
, an extensive study by Oxford University illustrated that
people
who work, or study abroad and
use
applications like
Facetime
and WhatsApp to chat with their families, less likely to experience loneliness and feel out of the loop than those who do not.

Secondly
, evidence of daily life
shows
that laying the responsibility on schools and organizations to limit screen time is
clearly
an erroneous policy. In most humanitarian governmental bodies, scientific reports have proved that
people
who spent hours online on their phone or computer
unconsciously
are more prone to depression and social anxiety.
However
, the same study
shows
that children whose screen time
was limited
by parents up to two to three hours
usually
have higher IQ than their peers.
Therefore
, although it is
undoubtedly
contentious, parents should be more diligent to what content their children consume and try to control how
many
hours they spent in front of the PC.

To conclude
, it is
clear
when the
people
limit their screen time, albeit under duress they stand to benefit.
Furthermore
, when users utilize the technology to
organise
social
events
the
overall
communication has a multiplier effect,
therefore
both actions should be
strongly
encouraged.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that technology has made man more social. with this opinion? v. 124 v. 12

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
277 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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