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some people believe technology has made man more sociable and others think that it has made us less sociable. discuss both views and give your opinion. v.2

Some people believe that technology has made a man more sociable and others think that it has made us less sociable. v. 2
Technology is the most significant in our life. Always we depend on our modern technology. Some people believe that technology changes our life and it has made us more sociable. But, others think that it is not important because technology has made us less sociable in society. I strongly agree with this statement technology has made us more sociable because we know about any kinds of information and it creates a strong bonding relationship with our relatives and friends. first of all, we can be learning new ideas through technology. Most of the people are using the smartphone. It changes a great positive impact on our communication. Smartphone device is more comfortable. We use the internet on that device. Other devices are most significant in our jobs. We use new devices such as laptops, mini iPad, smartwatches, etc. These devices save our time and easily moves any place. Internet is most beneficial in our everyday life. We can easily news in our national and international. We create many social and personal groups through many apps. Many social media such as Facebook, Whatsapp, Viver, Instagram, and youtube helps our communication. Suppose a person shares his opinion he can easily Facebook post. Youtube platform is a big social media all over the world. We know about our daily life news. Community people must be conscious because we watch in our society crime scene on tv and the internet. On the other hand, people can watch every social work in their country. For instance, government works on many mega projects then we can see that by technology. By the internet every day we know about new people because it is just possible by internet social media. Secondly, some people disagree the technology's work. Because they think technology has made us less sociable. Technology changes our communication because we cannot communicate with others face-to-face conversation. It creates a long-distances in our social work. Such as, we spend a lot of time on the internet. That is not good for our society. At a time, people are gossiping with others. They spent their time a funny moment. Sometimes some fake news involves violence against each other. To conclude, we cannot think about daily life without technology. I agree that modern technology is always important in our life.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
is the most significant in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
The adverb 'Always' is usually not used at the beginning of a sentence.
Always
we depend on our modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and it has made us more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sociable
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has made us less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sociable
in society. I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has made us more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sociable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we know about any kinds of information and it creates a strong bonding relationship with our relatives and friends.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
first of all
, we can be learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
. Most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are using the smartphone. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
a great
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact on our communication. Smartphone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
device
is more comfortable. We
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the internet on that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
device
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
are most significant in our jobs. We
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
such as laptops, mini iPad, smartwatches, etc. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
save our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moves
any place. Internet is most beneficial in our everyday
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. We can
easily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
in our national and international. We create
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
and personal groups through
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
apps.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media such as Facebook,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Whatsapp
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Viver
, Instagram, and
Possible spelling mistake found.
youtube
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
our communication. Suppose a person shares his opinion he can
easily
Facebook post.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Youtube
platform is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media all over the world. We know about our daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
. Community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be conscious
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
in our society crime scene on
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
and the internet. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in their country.
For instance
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
works on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
mega projects then we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
. By the internet every day we know about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
possible by internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media.

Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
disagree the technology's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has made us less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sociable
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
our communication
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we cannot communicate with others face-to-face conversation. It creates a long-distances in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. Such as, we spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on the internet.
That is
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for our society. At a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are gossiping with others. They spent their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
funny
moment.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
fake
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
involves violence against each other.

To conclude
, we cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is always
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
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A special kind of beauty exists which is born in language, of language, and for language.
Gaston Bachelard

IELTS essay some people believe technology has made man more sociable and others think that it has made us less sociable. v. 2

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
382 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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