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some people believe technology has made man more sociable and others think that it has made us less sociable. discuss both views and give your opinion. v.1

some people believe technology has made man more sociable and others think that it has made us less sociable. v. 1
The news is important in a part of the alert throughout the time, they have been broadening via new technologies, and had changed in a part of the coverage. Therefore, crime scenes always surround and get much detail. Thus, more and more people think it is necessary to diminish some part of the news for evading bad aftermaths. Overall, respectively what shows on the TV, I completely agree with cutting some description of the crimes. Nevertheless, some the news help to alert people about new criminals, which lead to more protecting life. For example, police officers have a practice of the identify suspects via a photo robot or find out witnesses of the crime scene that sometimes helps to faster arrests of killers or other delinquents. Hence, some part of news an inevitably needs, and help decrease the level of crime. However, crime scenes are specific theme not for everybody, especially in bloody part, therefore, such the news could make a panic. For the instance, when describes a serial killer that could be a neighbourhood or other people near you. Moreover, bloody scene for mentally healthy people are disgusted; however, for the audience with psychological problems could be guided to activity. Besides, some police station complains what some pre-date news help perpetrators evade judging. Thus, news should coordinate with the police and the audience on how to describe crime scenes. To sum up, I believe the news has worse aftermaths in their today’s coverage, no matter that kind of a source. Therefore, media sources to will be better should adjust describing details and more listen to the audience and the police.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
of the alert throughout the time, they have been broadening via
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
technologies, and had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
of the coverage.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scenes
always surround and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
much detail.
Thus
, more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is necessary to diminish
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
for evading
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
aftermaths.
Overall
,
respectively
what
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
on the TV, I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with cutting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
description of the crimes.

Nevertheless
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to alert
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
criminals, which lead to more protecting life.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
police
officers have a practice of
After 'the', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'identify' is correct. If 'identify' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
the identify
suspects via a photo robot or find out witnesses of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scene
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
to faster arrests of killers or other delinquents.
Hence
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
an
inevitably
needs, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
decrease the level of crime.

However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scenes
are specific theme not for everybody,
especially
in bloody
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
,
therefore
, such the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a panic. For the instance, when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describes
a serial killer that could be a
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbourhood' is British English.
neighbourhood
or other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
near you.
Moreover
, bloody
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scene
for mentally healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are disgusted
;
however
, for the audience with psychological problems could
be guided
to activity.
Besides
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
police
station complains what
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Possible spelling mistake found.
pre-date
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
perpetrators evade judging.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
should coordinate with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
police
and the audience on how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
scenes.

To sum up, I believe the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
has worse aftermaths in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s coverage, no matter that
If 'kind' is a classification term, 'a' is not necessary. Use "kind of". (The phrases 'kind of' and 'sort of' are informal if they mean 'to some extent'.)
kind of a
source.
Therefore
, media sources to will be better should adjust describing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
and more listen to the audience and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
police
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay some people believe technology has made man more sociable and others think that it has made us less sociable. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
271 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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