Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people believe that success in life comes from taking risks or chances. Others believe that success results from careful planning. v.6

Some people believe that success in life comes from taking risks or chances. Others believe that success results from careful planning. v. 6
There are various ways to achieve prosperity in life. Some people believe that the road to success comes from taking risks and chances. On the other hand, others believe that benefit is the end result of careful planning. From my perspective, though there can be exceptions, I believe that profit comes from careful planning because through this method, people can predict problems, which allows them to better prepare, and goals can be made more clearly defined. One reason is that careful planning is a better method of achieving progress because through this method, people can foresee some of the difficulties that they may run up against during the course of their work, and minimize the risk of failure. By being able to predict these problems, they will be better prepared to deal with them. For example, if I am planning to expand my own business, it is beneficial for me to sit down and consider what kinds of problems I may face and how to solve these problems ahead. By carefully planning the new plan, it is more likely to be a successful experience. Therefore, when people make a detailed map for progress, they can minimize the risk of failure and have more control of their future. Another reason why careful planning is a better idea to go is that clear goals can be established by that style. A lot of people have dreams of accomplishment in their lives, but they go about trying to reach their goals as if their eyes are closed, and they do not know which direction they are going. After some time they lose hope, which causes them to lose motivation towards reaching their goals. However, if people have a clear idea of what to do in order to reach their goals, they will be better motivated because they will expect setbacks and difficulties, but know that they can still achieve success. Without sufficient motivation, goals are reached more slowly, if at all. In conclusion, people can achieve achievement through taking risks and chances, but it is not recommended. I believe that careful planning is a better form to go because through careful planning can make allowances for problems before they come up, and they can establish a clear road to prosperity, which will keep them motivated.
There are various ways to achieve prosperity in life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that the road to success
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
from taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
risks
and chances.
On the other hand
, others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that benefit is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
result of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
careful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planning
. From my perspective, though there can be exceptions, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that profit
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
careful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planning
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
this method,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can predict
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
prepare, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goals
can
be made
more
clearly
defined.

One reason is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
careful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planning
is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
method of achieving progress
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
this method,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can foresee
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
difficulties that they may run up against during the course of their work, and minimize the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
risk
of failure. By being able to predict these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
, they will be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
prepared to deal with them.
For example
, if I am
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planning
to expand my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
business, it is beneficial for me to sit down and consider what kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
I may face and how to solve these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
ahead. By
carefully
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planning
the new plan, it is more likely to be a successful experience.
Therefore
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a detailed map for progress, they can minimize the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
risk
of failure and have more control of their future.

Another reason why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
careful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planning
is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
to go is that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goals
can
be established
by that style.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
A lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have dreams of accomplishment in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they go about trying to reach their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goals
as if their eyes
are closed
, and they do not know which direction they are going. After
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time they lose hope, which causes them to lose motivation towards reaching their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goals
.
However
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of what to do in order to reach their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goals
, they will be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
motivated
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
setbacks and difficulties,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
know that they can
still
achieve success. Without sufficient motivation,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goals
are reached
more
slowly
, if at all.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can achieve achievement
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
risks
and chances,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is not recommended. I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
careful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planning
is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
form to go
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
careful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planning
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
allowances for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
up, and they can establish a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
road to prosperity, which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
them motivated.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that success in life comes from taking risks or chances. Others believe that success results from careful planning. v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
382 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts