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Some people believe that success in life comes from taking risks or chances. Others believe that success results from careful planning. In your opinion, where does success come from? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.10

Some people believe that success in life comes from taking risks or chances. Others believe that success results from careful planning. In your opinion, where does success come from? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 10
Success is a very important part of our lives. In order to success and to pass all fields, we have to plan carefully and in a good manner to ensure to get what we need and without loss anything. Some people would believe that success in life comes from taking risks and chances since most people convince that luck has a path in our development. Other would disagree. In my view, I believe that success results from careful planning for two imperative reasons. To begin with, careful planning put the person in a steady ground. Through studying your steps in your future, you have an opportunity to work in a confident way and without any hesitation. Take my friend as an example, three years ago, he decided to open a restaurant in the united states since he from Iraq and he wanted to open a new business to assure that he has some income in this country. In fact, he intended to open a restaurant that specialized in middle east foods because a few shops was found in this city. He planned well to this project and even he asked some help from his relatives to support him and to be more comfortable to open this project. Actually, he asserted that he thought about everything such as kind of food, location, appearance and even the prices of the foods. He asked a manager about how he could succeed in this project. Finally, he opend his business that attracted by many people and he has a good income. It definitely because the careful planning and he realized that we have to count every step to success. As we can clearly see, planning gives us a chance to be a successful person. Another reason is that final decision is made after a good planning to assure that decision is right and will be succeed. When we have a problem or to take a big proposal, we have to plan everything so our path will be clear and easy to take. Take myself as an example, three months ago, my husband and I planned to move to another state since the old state has a harsh cold weather so we didn' t like live there because our kids always sick and one of them has asthma and the cold climate worses it. According to the doctor who explained to us that we have to live in a hot climate for our son so his case will be better and his illness will disappear. We planned everything before moving. In addition, we thought about the other state, the city, the community and even the house we are going to live, then we moved and we found that city is a good one and we didn' t need to extra expenses, besides our kid loved that area. This experience taught me that we should to study all points ans obtacles to face any problem in our life. By the way of conclusion, based on the arguments explored above, I firmly concur that success and a bright way in the life of the human beings is careful planning. We should plan about our life to progress and to boost up since the careful planning is worthwhile.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Success
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
. In order to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
and to pass all fields, we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
plan
carefully
and in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
manner to ensure to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
what we need and without loss anything.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
would believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
in life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
from taking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
and chances since most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
convince that luck has a path in our development. Other would disagree. In my view, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
results from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
careful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planning
for two imperative reasons.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
careful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planning
put the person in a steady ground. Through studying your steps in your future, you have an opportunity to work
Consider replacing "in a confident way" with the adverb for "confident"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a confident way
and without any hesitation. Take my friend as an example, three years ago, he decided to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
open
a restaurant in the united
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
states
since he from
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
Iraq and
he wanted to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
open
a new business to assure that he has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
income in this country. In fact, he intended to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
open
a restaurant that specialized in
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
middle east
foods
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
a few shops
was found
in this city. He planned well to this project and even he asked
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
from his relatives to support him and to be more comfortable to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
open
this project. Actually, he asserted that he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
about everything such as kind of food, location, appearance and even the prices of the foods. He asked a manager about how he could succeed in this project.
Finally
, he
Possible spelling mistake found.
opend
his business that attracted by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
people and
he has a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
income. It definitely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
careful
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
planning and
he realized that we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
count every step to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
. As we can
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planning
gives us a chance to be a successful person.

Another reason is that final decision
is made
after a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planning
to assure that decision is right and will be
Consider using the past participle "succeeded"?
succeed
. When we have a problem or to take a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
proposal, we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
plan everything
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
our path will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
and easy to take. Take myself as an example, three months ago, my husband and I planned to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
state
since the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
state
has a harsh
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cold
weather
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
we
Possible spelling mistake found.
didn&
#039; t like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
there
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
our kids always sick and one of them has asthma and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cold
climate
Possible spelling mistake found.
worses it
. According to the doctor who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
to us that we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in a hot climate for our son
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
his case will be better and his illness will disappear. We planned everything
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
moving.
In addition
, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
about the other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
state
, the city, the community and even the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
we are going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
, then we
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
moved and
we found that city is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
one and
we
Possible spelling mistake found.
didn&
#039; t need to extra expenses,
besides
our kid
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
that area. This experience taught me that we should to study all points ans
Possible spelling mistake found.
obtacles
to face any problem in our life.

By the way of conclusion, based on the arguments explored above, I
firmly
concur that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
and a bright way in the life of the human beings is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
careful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planning
. We should plan about our life to progress and to boost up since the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
careful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planning
is worthwhile.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
34Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that success in life comes from taking risks or chances. Others believe that success results from careful planning. In your opinion, where does success come from? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 10

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
540 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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