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Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views? v.31

Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. v. 31
Job after study is a conspicuous trend which is essential towards a student's growth and development. While some people believe that one should continue with college after school, others give preference to job. Both modes of learning should be used interchangeably, in order to achieve optimum result. This essay will expatiate on both views in detail in below mentioned paragraphs. Firstly, the variety of knowledge at higher study is a pertinent point to consider for a successful career. If the young stars adhere to university level, they will be able to access a wide range of information, which will be useful in enormous ways. For example, a plethora of skills could be attained during obtaining the upper level of education such as vocational skills, managerial and financial skills and time-management. However, it is a time-consuming process and some time causes the financial burden on the students. Conversely, pursuing a job after secondary education is the best-way out for the needy. For instance, in a survey conducted by a media channel, 89% of the students agree with the fact of monetary issues and as such, leaving studies meanwhile. Furthermore, such learning medium helps with the practical experience which a college lacks in. In conclusion, learning is an inevitable process in every living life. Pursuing a job after school or study in college are vital towards resource availability and personal needs. One should adhere to option which suits them the best way possible considering the constraints.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Job
after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
is a conspicuous trend which is essential towards a student's growth and development. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that one should continue with college after school, others give preference to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. Both modes of learning should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
interchangeably
, in order to achieve optimum result. This essay will expatiate on both views in detail in below mentioned paragraphs.

Firstly
, the variety of knowledge at higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
is a pertinent point to consider for a successful career. If the young stars adhere to university level, they will be able to access a wide range of information, which will be useful in enormous ways.
For example
, a plethora of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
could
be attained
during obtaining the upper level of education such as vocational
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, managerial and financial
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and time-management.
However
, it is a time-consuming process and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time causes the financial burden on the students.

Conversely
, pursuing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
after secondary education is the best-way out for the needy.
For instance
, in a survey conducted by a media channel, 89% of the students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the fact of monetary issues and as such, leaving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
meanwhile.
Furthermore
, such learning medium
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
with the practical experience which a college lacks in.

In conclusion
, learning is an inevitable process in every living life. Pursuing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
after school or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
in college are vital towards resource availability and personal needs. One should adhere to option which suits them the best way possible considering the constraints.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. v. 31

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
244 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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