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some people believe that students should have several short vacations throughout the year. do you agree?

some people believe that students should have several short vacations throughout the year. do you agree? kY73M
Some people consider students need several vaations. I toyally agree with this opinoin because of some reasons that I  am going to explain them in next paragraphs. The first reason why I agree teenagers require some hobbies beside their lessons. When they start learning, they can not concentrate on new points long hours. They have to gain new experience without any struggle. I mean that, when they start learning, they have to focus on education. To illustrate, when Idecide to start project, I plan far a trip to store my energy and recovery myself. This trip help me to findout information without any anxiety. Abother primary reason why I support the nation that when some elder people promise to do some attractive actions, teens are encouraged to perform at their best. So, they make an endeavour to finish that work without any mistake. When short holidays are given to them, thay make an attempt to use this chance for acting asa well as they can. For instance, when my brother was secondry, his teacher gave them some homework and asked them to complete. Beside that he promised to prepare some places for camping. So, ha was keen on doing that homework. in conclusion, teachers suppose to find new and intresting procedures for teaching lessons to learners and making joyful period for them with high concentration by planning several vacations.
Some
people
consider students need several
vaations
. I
toyally
agree
with this
opinoin
because
of
some
reasons that I
 
am going to
explain
them in
next
paragraphs. The
first
reason why I
agree
teenagers
require
some
hobbies beside their lessons. When they
start
learning, they can not concentrate on new points long hours. They
have to
gain new experience without any struggle. I mean that, when they
start
learning, they
have to
focus on education. To illustrate, when
Idecide
to
start
project, I plan far a trip to store my energy and recovery myself. This trip
help
me to
findout
information without any anxiety.
Abother
primary reason why I support the nation that when
some
elder
people
promise to do
some
attractive actions, teens
are encouraged
to perform at their best.
So
, they
make
an
endeavour
to finish that work without any mistake. When short holidays are
given
to them,
thay
make
an attempt to
use
this chance for acting
asa
well as they can.
For instance
, when my brother was
secondry
, his teacher gave them
some
homework and asked them to complete. Beside that he promised to prepare
some
places for camping.
So
, ha was keen on doing that homework.
in
conclusion, teachers suppose to find new and
intresting
procedures for teaching lessons to learners and making joyful period for them with high concentration by planning several vacations.
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IELTS essay some people believe that students should have several short vacations throughout the year. do you agree?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
229 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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