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It is responsibility of the developed countries to provide aid to the developing countries. Do you agree or disagree.

It is responsibility of the developed countries to provide aid to the developing countries. Nr91b
In the era of globalization, it is evident a fact that countries are coming more closely with each other than they ever in the terms of cooperation, leadership, international tie-ups for open trade facilities. It is always debated among people that it is primarily the responsibility of affluent nations to provide all kinds of support to the developing countries to grow significantly. As per my viewpoint, I completely agree with this notion and will shade some light in the ensuing paragraphs. To commence with, many emerging developing countries face a lot of issues in terms of poverty, unemployment, poor healthcare and education infrastructure an so on. Many affluent countries come forward to aid these nations by setting up a mutual international agreement and can easily facilitate open trade to increase the revenue that can benefit both the parties. Similarly, they invest an immense amount of funds in the educational and healthcare infrastructure, they collaborate with local universities to impart quality education, so that young professionals can become the future workforce in the long run. Secondly, rich countries also agree with the agreement by transferring the medical technology which can help to cure people who are suffering from deadly diseases. For instance, a country like India, where Polio is a major disease and so many people suffered from it, it eradicated completely with the help of cooperation among international medical teams from the western regions and could able to discover a vaccine within a short period of time. Furthermore, international fortune companies can look after the potential of local companies from poor nations and could find a smarter way to manufacture their products and services. In addition, they can establish their offshore offices and industries and can manufacture a product at low cost. Also, they can supply their products and services all the world through skilled employees and at considerably cheaper labour cost and eventually can become an export hub across the world. For instance, China has invited so many companies to build their products at low labour cost then soon it became a supply chain for the rest of the world. In conclusion, I believe that affluent countries should come forward to aid developing nations and should invest a huge amount of funds in the educational, healthcare, and industrial sector. So, they can cope up with the pollution which is increasing among these regions that can severely affect on climate change and global warming.
In the era of globalization, it is evident a fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are coming more
closely
with each other than they ever in the terms of cooperation, leadership,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
tie-ups for open trade facilities. It is always debated among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that it is
primarily
the responsibility of affluent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
to provide all kinds of support to the developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to grow
significantly
. As per my viewpoint, I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this notion and will shade
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
light in the ensuing paragraphs.

To commence with,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
emerging developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
issues in terms of poverty, unemployment, poor healthcare and education infrastructure
Did you mean "and" or "any"?
an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
affluent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
forward to aid these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
by setting up a mutual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
agreement and can
easily
facilitate open trade to increase the revenue that can benefit both the parties.
Similarly
, they invest an immense amount of funds in the educational and healthcare infrastructure, they collaborate with local universities to impart quality education,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that young professionals can become the future workforce in the long run.
Secondly
, rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the agreement by transferring the medical technology which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to cure
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who are suffering from deadly diseases.
For instance
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
like India, where Polio is a major disease and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
suffered from it, it eradicated completely with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of cooperation among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
medical teams from the western regions and
Did you mean "could be able"?
could able
to discover a vaccine within a short period of time.

Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
fortune
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
can look after the potential of local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
from poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
and could find a smarter way to manufacture their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and services.
In addition
, they can establish their offshore offices and industries and can manufacture a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
at low cost.
Also
, they can supply their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and services all the world through skilled employees and at
considerably
cheaper
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
cost and
eventually
can become an export hub across the world.
For instance
, China has invited
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
to build their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
at low
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
cost then
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
it became a supply chain for the rest of the world.

In conclusion
, I believe that affluent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
forward to aid developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
and should invest a huge amount of funds in the educational, healthcare, and industrial sector.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, they can cope up with the pollution which is increasing among these regions that can
severely
Did you mean "effect"?
affect
on climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
and global warming.
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IELTS essay It is responsibility of the developed countries to provide aid to the developing countries.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
404 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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