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Some people believe that students in school should study in a group to learn better. Other people believe think that school students should study alone. v.1

Some people believe that students in school should study in a group to learn better. Other people believe think that school students should study alone. v. 1
With the availability of quality health care and advancement in the field of health sciences the life expectancy across the globe has been rising. As a result, it is estimated that in the coming times, the number of elderly will outnumber the count of young people by a huge margin. In my opinion, this trend shall bear positive fruits for mankind. Analysing the impact of rising population on the social and economic lifestyle will prove this. Rising population leads to increasing stress on mother nature from the homo-sapiens. Top 10 most polluted cities in the world are also one of the most populous cities in the world. It illustrates that a control on the human race shall translate into better ecological balance and harmony between nature and humankind. Consequently, the rate of global warming shall reduce and the exhaustion of greenhouse gases shall also come down drastically. Therefore, there will be less pollution and less abuse of flora and fauna, culminating into a much better habitat for the human race. Not only this, but it would also mean higher per capita income and higher availability of disposable income with the people as the number of juvenile dependents shall reduce drastically. Hence, there would be an ever flowing cash flow in the economy. Although, some people might argue that a relatively smaller young population might mean reduced scientific innovation less agile sports persons and soldiers, but all of this is a minor give away in front of the heaps of benefits that this trend will result in. To summarise, in my view, the increasing number of elderly will indubitably lead to a highly stable and rewarding social-ecological lifestyle of the human race. It shall truly be a bliss.
With the availability of quality health care and advancement in the field of health sciences the life expectancy across the globe has been rising.
As a result
, it
is estimated
that in the coming times, the number of elderly will outnumber the count of young
people
by a huge margin. In my opinion, this trend shall bear
positive
fruits for mankind.
Analysing
the impact of rising population on the social and economic lifestyle will prove this.

Rising population leads to increasing
stress
on mother nature from the homo-sapiens. Top 10 most polluted cities in the world are
also
one of the most populous cities in the world. It illustrates that a control on the human race shall translate into better ecological balance and harmony between nature and humankind.
Consequently
, the rate of global warming shall
reduce
and the exhaustion of greenhouse gases shall
also
come
down
drastically
.
Therefore
, there will be less pollution and less abuse of flora and fauna, culminating into a much better habitat for the human race.

Not
only
this,
but
it would
also
mean higher per capita income and higher availability of disposable income with the
people
as the number of juvenile dependents shall
reduce
drastically
.
Hence
, there would be an ever flowing cash flow in the economy.

Although,
some
people
might argue that a
relatively
smaller young population might mean
reduced
scientific innovation less agile sports persons and soldiers,
but
all of this is a minor give away in front of the heaps of benefits that this trend will result in.

To
summarise
, in my view, the increasing number of elderly will
indubitably
lead to a
highly
stable and rewarding social-ecological lifestyle of the human race. It shall
truly
be a bliss.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that students in school should study in a group to learn better. Other people believe think that school students should study alone. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
287 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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