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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement Modern life is easier than life in the past Use specific details and examples to support your answer v.1

Modern life is easier than life in the past Use specific details and examples to support your answer v. 1
Nowadays, people believe that a women’s role should be limited to taking care of the house and children. Therefore, women have to be at home always and look after the needs of family members rather than concentrating on her own demands she expects from her life. I partially agree with the statement. Hence the essay will further discuss about the role of women in the homely activities and outside her home as well. In a current scenario as per the research, 70% of women are employed in our country which is surprisingly higher than the men’s employment. Although, women’s are more educated these days, they play an important role and contributes effectively to the welfare of society. It has become tendency of the people to limit women to household works and concentrating on the kids without a miss. Further, people think women’s have innate features of doing so. However, I would like to throw some light on the fact that women in spite of taking care of their households have proven themselves fantastically at work front as well. Women’s are able to manage their home, career & kids together. For example, we have seen how women’s manages to maintain her house, studies of kids get their homework done and preparing them for exams as well. Hence, there have been times when struggle pitches in daily routine activities and creates a difficulty in managing all together, but still the women power has the ability to overcome these hassles and excel in their growth with happiness, pride & dignity. To conclude that, moreover, I would say women’s have the inquisitiveness to learn innovative things sparkling and which will lead them to fulfil their desires in a positive manner.
Nowadays,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women’s
role should
be limited
to taking care of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
and children.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be at home always and look after the needs of family members
rather
than concentrating on her
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
demands she
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expects
from her life. I
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
the essay will
further
Did you mean simply "discuss the"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about the
role of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
in the homely activities and outside her home
as well
.

In a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
scenario as per the research, 70% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are employed
in our country which is
surprisingly
higher than the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
’s employment. Although,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women’s
are more educated these days, they play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role and contributes
effectively
to the welfare of society. It has become tendency of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to limit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
to household works and concentrating on the kids without a miss.
Further
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women’s
have innate features of doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
.

However
, I would like to throw
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
light on the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
in spite of
taking care of their households have proven themselves
fantastically
at work front
as well
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Women’s
are able to manage their home, career & kids together.
For example
, we have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women’s
manages to maintain her
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
, studies of kids
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
their homework done and preparing them for exams
as well
.
Hence
, there have been times when struggle pitches in daily routine activities and creates a difficulty in managing all together,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
still
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
power has the ability to overcome these hassles and excel in their growth with happiness, pride & dignity.

To conclude
that,
moreover
, I would say
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women’s
have the inquisitiveness to learn innovative things sparkling and which will lead them to fulfil their desires in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
manner.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Learn a language, and you’ll avoid a war.
Arab Proverb

IELTS essay Modern life is easier than life in the past Use specific details and examples to support your answer v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
286 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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