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Some people believe that school children should learn some practical skills like car maintenance, opening a bank account or learning about other traditional skills. v.1

Some people believe that school children should learn some practical skills like car maintenance, opening a bank account or learning about other traditional skills. v. 1
According to some people, pupils should be taught few real-world skills at the young age. I completely agree that learning these talents can enhance the child's career and help them to sustain in the society independently. To begin with, having knowledge about some practical skills can open doors for the part-time employment. A good illustration for this is one of my neighbours whose parents had to face financial crises after he completed his higher school. At this stage, he was able to work in a car-repair shop and thereby, fund his graduation. This was possible due to the fact that one of hi school subject was related to the mechanic's task. This example clearly shows the importance of acquiring practical knowledge for the children. In addition to this, some students find it difficult to concentrate on studies and hence, fail to acquire degree required for getting employed in any company. For such students, these skills can act as a saviour and they can earn their own livelihood. For example, one of my cousins was not able to complete his graduation even after several attempts yet he managed to establish his own shop for the house maintenance since he was having knowledge about the same. Thus, the benefits of garnering such skills are difficult to debunk. After analysing all the sides, it is clear that the acquisition of such skills can only bring advantages to the learner. Thus, it is expected that the educational institutions will introduce such subjects in the curriculum.
According to
some
people
, pupils should
be taught
few real-world
skills
at the young age. I completely
agree
that learning these talents can enhance the child's career and
help
them to sustain in the society
independently
.

To
begin
with, having knowledge about
some
practical
skills
can open doors for the part-time employment. A
good
illustration for this is one of my
neighbours
whose parents had to face financial crises after he completed his higher school. At this stage, he was able to work in a car-repair shop and thereby, fund his graduation. This was possible due to the fact that one of hi school subject
was related
to the mechanic's task. This example
clearly
shows
the importance of acquiring practical knowledge for the children.

In addition
to this,
some
students find it difficult to concentrate on studies and
hence
, fail to acquire degree required for getting employed in any
company
. For such students, these
skills
can act as a
saviour and
they can earn their
own
livelihood.
For example
, one of my cousins was not able to complete his graduation even after several attempts
yet
he managed to establish his
own
shop for the
house
maintenance since he was having knowledge about the same.
Thus
, the benefits of garnering such
skills
are difficult to debunk.

After
analysing
all the sides, it is
clear
that the acquisition of such
skills
can
only
bring advantages to the learner.
Thus
, it is
expected
that the educational institutions will introduce such subjects in the curriculum.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that school children should learn some practical skills like car maintenance, opening a bank account or learning about other traditional skills. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
251 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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