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Some people believe that school and university degree is important to get esteem status.

Some people believe that school and university degree is important to get esteem status. PM5qK
To become a successful person in this world, it is not essential to passed school or gain any university degree. However everyone has their own perspective to see the world which make them special and different than others. Thus, its difficult to reach that much, but, it would be possible to achieve. So, I prefer to elaborate further. To begin with, sometime it would be hard to explain, (How to become a successful person? ), because it has its own reason which inexplicable for some people who believe that it is impossible to achieve esteemed status in this earth. Furthermore, people who able reach this level, they always suffered from critical situation which makes them strong and powerful to face any circumstances in their life. Additionally, there are few people who become a successful in their life without getting an higher qualification from the school. In short, they not even passed the school to regulate their life professionally. Similarly, knowledge and practice make person perfect as well as consistency also matter in this case. So, apparently, they use this strategy and principles to become a rich person. However, they always being consistent and passionate about their work. Because they have particular knowledge and interest in the specific field which makes them successful. An that’s the reason why they are prosperous in their life. Additionally, they dropout the school from the middle to start their own career and focus on the particular interest by achieve their life. This kind of people are always inspiration for other to grown correctly. Conclusively, everything would be possible if we try and give our full efforts and maintain our consistency without taking break and distract our mind on other thing as well as without relying on qualification and normal job
To
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
in this world, it is not essential to passed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
or gain any university degree.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
everyone has their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
perspective to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the world which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
them special and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
Did you mean 'different "from"? 'Different than' is often considered colloquial style.
than
others.
Thus
,
Did you mean "it's" (="it is") instead of 'its' (possessive pronoun)?
its
difficult to reach that much,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, it would be possible to achieve.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, I prefer to elaborate
further
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, sometime it would be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
, (How to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
?
Loose punctuation mark.
)
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
reason which inexplicable for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who believe that it is impossible to achieve esteemed status in this earth.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who able reach this level, they always suffered from critical situation which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
them strong and powerful to face any circumstances in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Additionally
, there are few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
without getting
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
higher qualification from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. In short, they not even passed the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
to regulate their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
professionally
.

Similarly
, knowledge and practice
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
perfect
as well
as consistency
also
matter
in this case
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
apparently
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
this strategy and principles to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
a rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
.
However
, they
The adverb 'always' usually goes after the verb 'being'.
always being
consistent and passionate about their work.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
they have particular knowledge and interest in the specific field which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
.
Possible typo. Did you mean "and that"?
An that
’s the reason why they are prosperous in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Additionally
,
Do not use a noun immediately after the pronoun 'they'. Use a verb or an adverb, or possibly some other part of speech.
they dropout
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
from the middle to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
career and focus on the particular
In English, people don't say "interest by'. They say, "interest in'. Did you mean "interest in"?
interest by
achieve their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. This kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are always inspiration for other to grown
correctly
.

Conclusively
, everything would be possible if we
"Try and" is common in colloquial speech, but "try to" is recommended for writing.
try and
give our full efforts and maintain our consistency without taking break and distract our mind on other thing
as well
as without relying on qualification and normal job
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IELTS essay Some people believe that school and university degree is important to get esteem status.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
294 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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