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businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new

businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new 7WyDb
Recently, companies have started to compete with each other through the most updated products which they advert both in the electronic and paper advertisement. In my opinion, the advanced technology where people have open access to numerous aids is the most contributor for this case. It will be beneficial for both audiences and businesses as a result of creativity. To begin with, unlike in the past, when aids delivered in certain ways because of the high cost that needs to spend, nowadays there are many ways companies publish their product due to the advanced technology which is more effortless. Moreover, digitalization increases the opportunity for people to get a number of information or entertainment widely by free charge. For instance, people can coincidentally find commercials while scrolling their social media. Because of the huge amount of adverts, they will be picky to decide for watching it or not based on the appeal. As long as it can arouse curiosity, there will be a high possibility to not skip the commercial. Consequently, each entrepreneur put their effort much more by showing the state of the art of their products. According to this circumstance, it can be seen as a positive development since enterprises might be more creative for fulfilling the customer desire. It means that there will be a lot of thrilling ideas which will be delivered through the advertisements unless audiences become ignorant. Furthermore, viewers will be more engaged, and they might look forward to the products. As a result, it will be quick for both where the viewers get the captivating entertainment and companies get the customer. To conclude, rivalry in conveying the newest items is inevitable for industry because of the digital era. Addressing this challenge, companies will be more creative and innovative which is valuable for both businesses and viewers.
Recently,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to compete with each other through the most updated products which they advert both in the electronic and paper advertisement. In my opinion, the advanced technology where
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have open access to numerous aids is the most contributor for this case. It will be beneficial for both audiences and businesses
as a result
of creativity.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, unlike in the past, when aids delivered in certain ways
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the high cost that needs to spend, nowadays there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
publish their product due to the advanced technology which is more effortless.
Moreover
, digitalization increases the opportunity for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a number of information or entertainment
widely
by free charge.
For instance
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can
coincidentally
find commercials while scrolling their social media.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of the huge amount of adverts, they will be picky to decide for watching it or not based on the appeal. As long as it can arouse curiosity, there will be a high possibility to not skip the commercial.
Consequently
, each entrepreneur put their effort much more by showing the state of the art of their products.

According to this circumstance, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development since enterprises might be more creative for fulfilling the customer desire. It means that there will be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
thrilling
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
which will
be delivered
through the advertisements unless audiences become ignorant.
Furthermore
, viewers will be more engaged, and they might look forward to the products.
As a result
, it will be quick for both where the viewers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the captivating entertainment and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the customer.

To conclude
, rivalry in conveying the newest items is inevitable for industry
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the digital era. Addressing this challenge,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
will be more creative and innovative which is valuable for both businesses and viewers.
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IELTS essay businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
303 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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