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Some people believe that robots are important for the future human development. While others say that they are dangerous and put negative impact on society. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.1

Some people believe that robots are important for the future human development. While others say that they are dangerous and put negative impact on society. v. 1
It is argued that the environmental issues are ought to be fixed internationally, while others believe that they should be dealt at nation wide. In my opinion, I think they should be solved nationally as it is easiest and accurate way to resolve that way. On the one hand, some people hold the view that the issues related to the environment need to be dealt at international level. They believe this because, one of the main environmental concern people globally facing these days is global warming, which is mainly due to the uncontrolled use of automobiles. For instance, a survey conducted by Cambridge University on the world environment in 2013 showed that the burning of fossil fuels contributing the highest percentage to greenhouse effects. However, I feel vehicles solely cannot be contributing these issues. On the other hand, other people hold the opinion that solving these environmental problems should be handled at country level as it is more precise and the convenient way, and I agree with this. That is to say, It will be easier to discover the issues contributing to the pollution within the state, and passing legal laws to prohibit or control such issues would be more accurate nationally. In other words, it also influences other countries to implement the same, which would ultimately resolve the problem globally. For instance, the Netherlands government passed the law on forest protection and development in 2013 and have experienced a substantial drop in deforestation since then. In conclusion, although there are strong arguments to deal with the environmental issues internationally, I believe it is quicker and more precise way to reduce these problems if they are dealt at nationally.
It
is argued
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
are ought to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
internationally
, while others believe that they should
be dealt
at
Did you mean "nationwide"?
nation wide
. In my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
they should
be solved
nationally
as it is easiest and accurate way to resolve that way.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
hold the view that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
related to the environment need to
be dealt
at international level. They believe this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, one of the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
concern
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
globally facing these days is global warming, which is
mainly
due to the uncontrolled
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of automobiles.
For instance
, a survey conducted by Cambridge University on the world environment in 2013
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that the burning of fossil fuels contributing the highest percentage to greenhouse effects.
However
, I feel vehicles
solely
cannot be contributing these issues.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
hold the opinion that solving these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
problems should
be handled
at country level as it is more precise and the convenient way, and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this.
That is
to say, It will be easier to discover the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
contributing to the pollution within the state, and passing legal laws to prohibit or control such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
would be more accurate
nationally
. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, it
also
influences
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
countries to implement the same, which would
ultimately
resolve the problem globally.
For instance
, the Netherlands
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
passed the law on forest protection and development in 2013 and have experienced a substantial drop in deforestation since then.

In conclusion
, although there are strong arguments to deal with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
internationally
, I believe it is quicker and more precise way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
these problems if they
are dealt
at
nationally
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that robots are important for the future human development. While others say that they are dangerous and put negative impact on society. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
279 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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