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Some people believe that professional workers such as doctors and teachers should be paid more than sports and entertainment personalities

Some people believe that professional workers such as doctors and teachers should be paid more than sports and entertainment personalities MMlpN
It is though by some that much more money ought to be spent on doctors as well as techers rather than sports and entertainment. I completely disagree with the opinion and think that sports and entertainment should be paid like education and medicine stuff. On the one hand, the most developed countries try to spent on many and many money for improve sport proportion because plenty of sport's atletics if them participate on the popular sport competition ( international ) or Olimpic games results of that nation be famous by sportsman. For inctence, Argentina so well-known by Leonel Messi. Additionally, entertainment industry people willingly spend trillion dollars every year buying tickets to conserts and movies. It is clearly that government get the more benefits. On the another hand, medicine stuff with education donot regardless by government because that is commonly portion of each country. It show that techers as well as doctors get well-paid then others. However, if government should stop spend on majority of money for them it likely to be substantial crack for per developing countries. In conclusion, I donot believe that doctors and hence, techers should receive the higher paid then sport players and hence, singers or actors while them significantly improve country's status.
It is though by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that much more money ought to
be spent
on doctors
as well
as
Possible spelling mistake found.
techers
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and entertainment. I completely disagree with the opinion and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and entertainment should
be paid
like education and medicine stuff. On the one hand, the most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
try to
Did you mean "spend"?
spent
on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
and
Possible agreement error. The noun money seems to be uncountable; consider using: "much money", "a good deal of money".
many money
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
proportion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of sport's
Possible spelling mistake found.
atletics
if them participate on the popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
competition
Don't put a space after the opening parenthesis
(
international
Don't put a space before the closing parenthesis
)
or
Possible spelling mistake found.
Olimpic
games results of that nation be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
by sportsman. For
Possible spelling mistake found.
inctence
, Argentina
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
well-known by Leonel Messi.
Additionally
, entertainment industry
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
willingly
spend trillion dollars every year buying tickets to
Possible spelling mistake found.
conserts
and movies. It is
clearly
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the more benefits. On the another hand, medicine stuff with education
Possible spelling mistake found.
donot
regardless by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
that is
commonly
portion of each country. It
Did you mean "shows"?
show
that
Possible spelling mistake found.
techers
as well
as doctors
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
well-paid then others.
However
, if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
spend on majority of money for them it likely to be substantial crack for per
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
.
In conclusion
, I
Possible spelling mistake found.
donot
believe that doctors and
hence
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
techers
should receive the higher paid then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
players and
hence
, singers or actors while them
significantly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
country's status.

IELTS essay Some people believe that professional workers such as doctors and teachers should be paid more than sports and entertainment personalities

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
207 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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