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Studies suggest that many teenagers these days prefer socialising online to meeting one another in person. Why do you think this is the case? What measures could be taken to encourage teenagers to spend more time meeting one another in person?

Studies suggest that many teenagers these days prefer socialising online to meeting one another in person. Why do you think this is the case? What measures could be taken to encourage teenagers to spend more time meeting one another in person? oR6wg
In this modern era, the use of technology became the most crucial communication strategy in the world. While some youngsters choose to socialized all over the media, others argued the significant of face to face interaction. In my view, I think they preffered to interact online to avoid rejection. This essay will provide in depth stategies to deal with personal communication. The main reason why teenagers use social media to communicate is the fear of rejection. This is due to the fact that youngster sometimes does not have the courage to verbally express themselves. For example, a young man in love with his high school friend will prefer to send a love message over her Instagram page rather than saying the words in person. If the person will not reciprocate the same feeling, he can accept the consequence of his action without judgement. However, one of the vital strategy for teenagers to enjoy social interaction is to motivate themselves to make friends out of youth clubs. This is because by joining an activity, they will be able to meet other participants with the same age and interests. Public sports centre, for instance, is a great place for various activities in which teenagers can be a part of. There will be lots of possibilities to meet young people who enjoy physical activity. In addition to this, young people should gain their confidence in meeting people by reading selp-help books. It is a way of gaining knowledge about the techniques they can do to attract some friends. The best example would be a teenager that is to shy to make the first move with a girl, when he reads he would be able to find a way to be confident with his expressions. In conclusion, young people view social media as a way of expressing themselves to the world. It is importance to accept them in person and to see their actions without rejecting their contributions. It is up to the individual if they follow the strategies outline in this essay as to each is own, but without neglecting the importance of personal communication.
In this modern era, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of technology became the most crucial communication strategy in the world. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
youngsters choose
Did you mean "to socialize"?
to socialized
all over the media, others argued
The phrase 'the significant of' is not correct. Use a noun, not an adjective, between 'the' and 'of'.
the significant of
face to face interaction. In my view, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
they
Possible spelling mistake found.
preffered
to interact online to avoid rejection. This essay will provide in depth
Possible spelling mistake found.
stategies
to deal with personal communication.

The main reason why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
social media to communicate is the fear of rejection.
This is due to the fact that
youngster
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
does not have the courage to
verbally
express themselves.
For example
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
with his high school friend will prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
message over her Instagram page
rather
than saying the words in person. If the person
Consider removing 'will'. (Usually, 'will' does not occur in a conditional clause, unless in the sense 'want to' or 'be willing to'.)
will not reciprocate
the same feeling, he can accept the consequence of his action without judgement.

However
, one of the vital strategy for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
to enjoy social interaction is to motivate themselves to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
friends out of youth clubs. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
by joining an activity, they will be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
other participants with the same age and interests. Public sports
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
,
for instance
, is a great place for various activities in which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
can be a part of. There will be lots of possibilities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who enjoy physical activity.

In addition
to this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should gain their confidence in meeting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
by reading selp-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
books. It is a way of gaining knowledge about the techniques they can do to attract
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
friends. The best example would be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenager
that is
to shy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
first
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
with a girl, when he reads he would be able to find a way to be confident with his expressions.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
view social media as a way of expressing themselves to the world. It is importance to accept them in person and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
their actions without rejecting their contributions. It is up to the individual if they follow the strategies outline in this essay as to each is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
without neglecting the importance of personal communication.
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IELTS essay Studies suggest that many teenagers these days prefer socialising online to meeting one another in person. Why do you think this is the case? What measures could be taken to encourage teenagers to spend more time meeting one another in person?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
352 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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