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Some people believe that physical fitness of strong individuals and teams is the reason for most sports achievements. Others, however, think that mental attitude is more important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

It is irrefutably true that achievements in the sports are the result of hard work, talent and strong commitment. However, some people say that physical fitness of sports players plays a key role to make massive accomplishments in the sports. By contrast, others claim mental attitude as the most salient factor behind sports achievements. Here, I would like to account for both sides with my own perception. There are manifold points to endorse the former view. First and foremost, players with sound physical fitness can put their hundred percent efforts for the victory of their team. Their performance looks extraordinary when they are good at fitness. Taking a real life example into consideration, once in a cricket match, a top class batsman Hershel Gibbs was playing exceptionally well against India. His team was very close to victory but unfortunately, he got injured while running for a single. Later, he was unable to take singles and got out while playing a big shot. This turned his team to lose the final match by only two runs. Hence, achievements in the crucial matches and tournaments depend a lot on the physical fitness of best players. On the contrary, others have conflicting views. They think that a robust mental attitude lays down the foundation of achievements in sports. Without strong mentality and positive attitude, making achievements seems a herculean task. To make it clear with one more real life example, South African cricket team is one of the best cricket teams in the world but they have never won any World Cup just because of less strong mental attitude or temperament. Many many times, it is noticed by the cricket fans and experts that the players of South Africa are unable to bear the pressure of big games and become mentally depressed under pressure situations. This results in quick loss of wickets and game over for African team. Consequently, mentally strong players are much needed to win awards in the sports. To recapitulate, undeniably, physical fitness has it’s own importance. However, in my opinion, a positive mind set up with the passion to win brings a massive success in sports.
It is
irrefutably
true that
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achievements
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are the result of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work, talent and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strong
commitment.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fitness
of
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sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
plays a key role to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
massive accomplishments in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. By contrast, others claim mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attitude
as the most salient factor behind
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
achievements
. Here, I would like to account for both sides with my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
perception.

There are manifold points to endorse the former view.
First
and foremost,
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players
with sound
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fitness
can put their hundred percent efforts for the victory of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
. Their performance looks extraordinary when they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fitness
. Taking a real life example into consideration, once in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cricket
match, a top
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
batsman Hershel Gibbs was playing
exceptionally
well against India. His
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
close to victory
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
unfortunately, he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
injured while running for a single. Later, he was unable to take singles and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
out while playing a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
shot. This turned his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
to lose the final match by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
two runs.
Hence
,
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achievements
in the crucial matches and tournaments depend a lot on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fitness
of best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
.
On the contrary
, others have conflicting views.

They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that a robust mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attitude
lays down the foundation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
achievements
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. Without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strong
mentality and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attitude
, making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
achievements
seems a herculean task. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
with one more real life example, South African
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cricket
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
is one of the best
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cricket
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teams
in the world
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they have never won any World Cup
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of less
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strong
mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attitude
or temperament.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
times, it
is noticed
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cricket
fans and experts that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
of South Africa are unable to bear the pressure of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
games and become mentally depressed under pressure situations. This results in quick loss of wickets and game over for African
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
.
Consequently
, mentally
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strong
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
are much needed to win awards in the sports.

To recapitulate,
undeniably
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fitness
has it’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
importance.
However
, in my opinion, a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
mind set up with the passion to win brings a massive success in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that physical fitness of strong individuals and teams is the reason for most sports achievements. Others, however, think that mental attitude is more important.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
357 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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