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Some people believe that phone is dangerous for people or not

Some people believe that phone is dangerous for people or not yg1Bg
Although, mobile phones are useful for making convenience, in people's view includes that mobile phones damage for our life, namely they control people. l approve this view. There are two benefits of smartphones. The first benefit is that we can find and learn something, which we need any thing, with phones in internet wherever we are. For instance, someone wants to cook food, but it is strange for him or her. This person accesses to the internet and searches how to cook it. Another benefit is all people talk with friends or close someones for them by texting or calling. This is very comfortable for people who live far from each other. However, there are disadvantages of telecommunication. Firstly, so most people use a telephone too, they want to expect us to be online and connected to our phones all the time. This causes they are not patient nowadays. Secondly, Smartphones could also be damaging people's romantic relationships. For example, some couples are spending more time engaged with their phones than with their significant others, which can take a toll on intimacy. She is sad and ugry from her boyfriend, this scathes to their relationship. Finally, in my opinion, phones are causing to recede people each other. It makes scared from folk, this fear is the fear of making a mistake and strengthen neglect among people. In summary, so there are both disadvantages and advantages, we use phones enough, not too. If we don't use it, it is useful for our health.
Although, mobile
phones
are useful for making convenience, in
people
's view includes that mobile
phones
damage for our life,
namely
they control
people
.
l
approve this view.

There are two benefits of smartphones. The
first
benefit is that we can find and learn something, which we need
any thing
, with
phones
in internet wherever we are.
For instance
, someone wants to cook food,
but
it is strange for him or her. This person accesses to the internet and searches how to cook it. Another benefit is all
people
talk with friends or close someones for them by texting or calling. This is
very
comfortable for
people
who
live
far from each other.

However
, there are disadvantages of telecommunication.
Firstly
,
so
most
people
use
a telephone too, they want to
expect
us to be online and connected to our
phones
all the time. This causes they are not patient nowadays.
Secondly
, Smartphones could
also
be damaging
people
's romantic relationships.
For example
,
some
couples are spending more time engaged with their
phones
than with their significant others, which can take a toll on intimacy. She is sad and
ugry
from her boyfriend,
this
scathes
to their relationship.

Finally
, in my opinion,
phones
are causing
to recede
people
each other. It
makes
scared from folk, this fear is the fear of making a mistake and strengthen neglect among
people
.

In summary,
so
there are both disadvantages and advantages, we
use
phones
enough
, not too. If we don't
use
it, it is useful for our health.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that phone is dangerous for people or not

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
252 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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