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Field of specialization study in the past

Field of specialization study in the past kjNr2
I was a biotechnology student in International University, Vietnam. I chose this field because I believe in its huge applications in my country. It can provide various skills for future employment opportunities and also future deeper research, such as molecular diagnostic, molecular biology, analytical chemistry, etc. For me, biotechnology is the science of the future. In the 1st year in 2017, I studied some basic courses, like calculus, physics, biology, and chemistry. And more importantly, Academic English, which is used as the medium of teaching and research. The following year, I focused more on the foundation subjects, such as plant physiology, environmental science, human and animal physiology, genetics, molecular biotechnology. Those courses played an essential role on my decision of choosing the main major. The 3rd year was my favourite year. I joined the culture exchange in Fukui University, Japan for one semester, where I learned a lot about the Japanese culture and language. I was really admired how biotechnology has been developed in Japan, so I dreamed of coming back to study in this country in the near future. After coming back, I started to study deeper knowledge about molecular biotechnology, and the laboratory activities provide me with a lot of practical skills such as, stem cell culture, microorganism culture, oocyte culture, Western Blotting, PCR etc. And the theoretical subjects like experimental design, scientific writing and data analysis help me prepare for my graduation thesis. In the summer semester of my 4th year, I did an internship at the Infertility Department at Hung Vuong Hospital to gain more knowledge about the application of biotechnology in health system in reality. After internship, I realized that the reproductive technology is still a new topic in Vietnam and need more research, so I have chosen the topic about improving the culture medium for growing oocytes for my graduation project. In my last year, I studied about stem cell biology, which was mainly about growing oocytes and stem cell culture, and found that was my interest. Therefore, I did my thesis research under the supervision of Prof. Bui Hong Thuy, the stem cell biology lecturer. My thesis was about establish the in vitro culture medium for porcine growing oocytes by supplying antioxidant. The main aim of the research has been reached: Antioxidant has shown to support the oocytes in in vitro culture system. Thesis project gave me the opportunity to learn many techniques in the field of reproductive biology. I believe those valuable skills will be helpful in my future.
I was a biotechnology student in International University, Vietnam. I chose this field
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I believe in its huge applications in my country. It can provide various
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
employment opportunities and
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
deeper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
, such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
molecular
diagnostic,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
molecular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
biology
, analytical chemistry, etc. For me, biotechnology is the science of the future.

In the 1st
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
in 2017, I studied
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
basic courses, like calculus, physics,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
biology
, and chemistry. And more
importantly
, Academic English, which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
as the medium of teaching and research.

The following
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
, I focused more on the foundation subjects, such as plant physiology, environmental science, human and animal physiology, genetics,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
molecular
biotechnology. Those courses played an essential role on my decision of choosing the main major.

The 3rd
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
was my
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
joined
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
exchange in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Fukui
University, Japan for one semester, where I learned a lot about the Japanese
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and language. I was
really
admired how biotechnology has
been developed
in Japan,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I dreamed of coming back to study in this country in the near
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
. After coming back, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to study deeper knowledge about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
molecular
biotechnology, and the laboratory activities provide me with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
practical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
such as,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stem
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
, microorganism
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
, oocyte
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
, Western Blotting, PCR etc. And the theoretical subjects like experimental design, scientific writing and data analysis
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
me prepare for my graduation thesis.

In the summer semester of my 4th
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
, I did an internship at the Infertility Department at Hung
Possible spelling mistake found.
Vuong
Hospital to gain more knowledge about the application of biotechnology in health system in reality. After internship, I realized that the reproductive technology is
still
a new topic in Vietnam and need more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I have chosen the topic about improving the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
medium for growing oocytes for my graduation project.

In my last
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
, I studied about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stem
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
biology
, which was
mainly
about growing oocytes and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stem
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
, and found that was my interest.
Therefore
, I did my thesis
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
under the supervision of Prof.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Bui
Hong
Possible spelling mistake found.
Thuy
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stem
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
biology
lecturer.

My thesis was about
Consider using a past participle here: "established".
establish
the in vitro
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
medium for porcine growing oocytes by supplying antioxidant. The main aim of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
has
been reached
: Antioxidant has shown to support the oocytes
Possible typo: you repeated a word
in in
vitro
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
system. Thesis project gave me the opportunity to learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
techniques in the field of reproductive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
biology
. I believe those valuable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
will be helpful in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
.
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IELTS essay Field of specialization study in the past

Essay
  American English
7 paragraphs
417 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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