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Some people believe that people will purchase a product on bases on their quality and needs and advertising is not required and it's only for entertainment .To what extent do you agree or disagree

Some people believe that people will purchase a product on bases on their quality and needs and advertising is not required and it's only for entertainment. R5XWV
Some experts believe that products will be purchased by individuals on basis on their quality and require; whereas, adverts are not required. In my opinion, I disagree with this view point to some extent, which this eassy intends to discuss reasons in detail before reaching a logical conclusion. There are myriad of reasons behind why people claim that advertisements are backbone of the market. To commence with, adverts raises awareness about products in general public. To explain it, when people see modern brand with asist of advertisements via whether print media or electronic media. They can obtain information about those products, which they want to purchase and take best decision to buy them. To epitome, survey conducted by Divine advertising agency revealed that about 50% of consumers obtained knowledge about materials by seeing adverts either on poster or social media. As a result, people will be able to compare prices with other products and secure their precious capital. Despite the positive, this phenomenon has negative also, which can not be overlooked. First and foremost is that the most of advertisements are provided fake information about accuracy of materials. To elaborate it, sometime adverts are duplicated and misguided to public about products as advertisements have purpose for getting abundance of profits from products by giving wrong information. To exemplify, it can be seen in the report of department of consumer affairs displayed that 60% cases were registered against distinct adverts, which were provided negative information to public. Thus, masses can be distracted, selected wrong products, and waste their money on these time types of goods. To conclude, I would reiterate that this trend have both merits and demerits that are influenced to gernal public. Therefore, individuals should aware about negative information about goods.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
experts believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
by individuals on basis on their quality and require; whereas, adverts are not required. In my opinion, I disagree with this view point to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent, which this
Possible spelling mistake found.
eassy
intends to discuss reasons in detail
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
reaching a logical conclusion.

There are myriad of reasons behind why
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
claim that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
are backbone of the market. To commence with, adverts raises awareness about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
in general
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
it, when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
modern brand with
Possible spelling mistake found.
asist
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
via whether print media or electronic media. They can obtain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
about those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, which they want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
and
A determiner is probably missing here: "take the best".
take best
decision to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
them. To epitome, survey conducted by Divine advertising agency revealed that about 50% of consumers obtained knowledge about materials by seeing adverts either on poster or social media.
As a result
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will be able to compare prices with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and secure their precious capital.

Despite the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
, this phenomenon has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
also
, which can not
be overlooked
.
First
and foremost is that the most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
are provided
fake
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
about accuracy of materials. To elaborate it, sometime adverts
are duplicated
and misguided to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
have purpose for getting abundance of profits from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
by giving
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
. To exemplify, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in the report of department of consumer affairs displayed that 60% cases
were registered
against distinct adverts, which
were provided
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
.
Thus
, masses can
be distracted
, selected
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, and waste their money on these time types of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
.

To conclude
, I would reiterate that
The verb 'have' is plural. Did you mean: "this trend has"? Did you use a verb instead of a noun?
this trend have
both merits and demerits that
are influenced
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
gernal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
.
Therefore
, individuals
The word 'aware' is a noun or an adjective. A verb is missing or misspelled, or maybe a comma is missing.
should aware
about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
about
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that people will purchase a product on bases on their quality and needs and advertising is not required and it's only for entertainment.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
292 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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