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Some people believe that it is impossible to help everyone in need around the world. That is why governments should only focus on helping people of their own country. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give your own opinion and v.1

Some people believe that it is impossible to help everyone in need around the world. That is why governments should only focus on helping people of their own country. with this statement? Give your own opinion and v. 1
A longer period for recreation some people think that is given to children. For this reason a group of the population has considered that the homework should increase for a better use of time. Otherwise, certain demographics of society believe that hobbies are a fundamental part of the integral development of students. However, I agree with that a large spare time will be a great input to the school. Indeed, some parents agree with in the primary and secondary the work boost. One grow of the tasks could do that the knowledge, enhance in the regular subject, so students would have a better chance to get an admission in a prestige college. For example, in Chile educational institutions that have more workshops such as math, language and science, in general are being able to achieve a high score in PSU. Conversely, other people agree with the freedom from duties or responsabilities is essential for humans. In the current epoch is necessary to have other sorts of abilities such as emotional intelligence and fellowship. Then whether education only focused on young does several homework, perhaps academies will create individuals that look like a robot. For that I think the recreation is a good way to educate kids with soft skills. Some schools, for instance, have included workshops which explain how care the animals, what in my opinion is a great option to become in a better person. In conclusion, it is considered that children nowadays have much free time and it is believed that period should be used to do homework. Nevertheless, I think that the hobbies are essential for the actual world because this allow to give to new generations a better education.
A longer period for recreation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to children.
For this reason
a group of the population has considered that the homework should increase for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of time.
Otherwise
, certain demographics of society believe that hobbies are a fundamental part of the integral development of students.
However
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with that a large spare time will be a great input to the school.

Indeed
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with in the primary and secondary the work boost. One grow of the tasks could do that the knowledge, enhance in the regular subject,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
students would have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
an admission in a prestige college.
For example
, in Chile educational institutions that have more workshops such as math, language and science,
in general
are being able to achieve a high score in PSU.

Conversely
, other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the freedom from duties or
Possible spelling mistake found.
responsabilities
is essential for humans. In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
epoch is necessary to have other sorts of abilities such as emotional intelligence and fellowship. Then whether education
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
focused on young does
Possible agreement error. The noun homework seems to be uncountable; consider using: "some homework".
several homework
, perhaps academies will create individuals that look like a robot. For that I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the recreation is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way to educate kids with soft
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
schools,
for instance
, have included workshops which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
how care the animals, what in my opinion is a great option to become in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
person.

In conclusion
, it
is considered
that children nowadays have much free time and it
is believed
that period should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to do homework.
Nevertheless
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the hobbies are essential for the actual world
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
to give to new generations a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
education.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that it is impossible to help everyone in need around the world. That is why governments should only focus on helping people of their own country. with this statement? Give your own opinion and v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
283 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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