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Some people believe that parents should push children to do well in studies .do you agree or disagree .

It is irrefutable fact that parents have a key role in their children's educational performance. some people think that parents must force their children to do best in studies. personally I disagree. this essay will discuss why parents should not pressurized their offspring to do well in studies, using examples from Harvard University and delhi university to demonstrate the points and prove arguments. Although parents know what is right and what is wrong, still it is not advisory to put burden children as children are fragile and do not bear extensive amount of stress. to explain, if parents put burden on their offsprings, they could suffer from some psychological illnesses. for example, an extensive study conducted by Harvard University on 1000 children of new zealand in 2018 revealed that 70%of those children suffered from psychological problems by being pressurized by their parents for studies. it is therefore conclusively clear that parents should not force their offsprings for studies as it leads to some psychological problems among children. Secondly, if parents put extensive burden of studies on their children, it can have detrimental effect on child's health. to substantiate, most companies required creativity and communication skills, which can not be developed properly under the pressure of parents. so children could get deprived from these essential skills. to exemplify, according to an empirical research done by Delhi university on 1500 people who were not creative and unable to communicate with others showed that 60%of those people deprived from these skills because of the burden of studies put by their parents. thus it can be stated beyond any doubt that as it leads to bad impact on child's development so parents should not pressurized their offsprings for studies. By analysing aforementioned paragraphs, I firmly believe that parents should not put burden of studies on their children as it leads to some psychological problems and worsly effect children.
It is irrefutable fact that
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parents
have a key role in their children's educational performance.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
some
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
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parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
force their
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children
to do best in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
personally
I disagree.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
this
essay will discuss why
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parents
should not
The modal verb ‘should’ requires the verb’s base form.
pressurized
their
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offspring
to do well in
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studies
, using examples from Harvard
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University
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
delhi
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university
to demonstrate the points and prove arguments. Although
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parents
know what is right and what is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
,
still
it is not advisory to
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put
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burden
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children
as
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children
are fragile and do not bear extensive amount of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
.
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to
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explain
, if
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parents
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put
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burden
on their
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offsprings
, they could suffer from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
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psychological
illnesses.
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for
example, an extensive
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study
conducted by Harvard
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University
on 1000
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children
of
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
new zealand
in 2018 revealed that 70%of those
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children
suffered from
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psychological
problems by
being pressurized
by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
it
is
therefore
conclusively
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
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parents
should not force their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offsprings
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
as it leads to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
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psychological
problems among
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children
.
Secondly
, if
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parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
put
extensive
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burden
of
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studies
on their
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children
, it can have detrimental effect on child's health.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
to
substantiate, most
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companies
required creativity and communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, which can not
be developed
properly
under the pressure of
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parents
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
so
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children
could
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get
The usual collocation for “deprived” is “of”, not “”. Did you mean “deprived of”?
deprived from
these essential
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skills
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
to
exemplify, according to an empirical research done by Delhi
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university
on 1500
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who were not creative and unable to communicate with others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that 60%of those
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
The usual collocation for “deprived” is “of”, not “”. Did you mean “deprived of”?
deprived from
these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
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burden
of
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studies
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put
by their
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parents
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
thus
it can
be stated
beyond any doubt that as it leads to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
impact on child's
Use a comma before ‘so’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
development
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
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parents
should not
The modal verb ‘should’ requires the verb’s base form.
pressurized
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offsprings
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
. By
Possible spelling mistake. ‘analysing’ is British English.
analysing
aforementioned paragraphs, I
firmly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
put
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
burden
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
as it leads to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
psychological
problems and
Possible spelling mistake found.
worsly
effect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that parents should push children to do well in studies.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
314 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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