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nowadays people have adopted an unhealthy lifestyle. why do you think this is? how could you this problem be solved?

In contemporary society, people are getting unhealthier day by day. The lifestyle changes play a key role in this issue. This essay will explore the problems associated with it and also offer solutions to deal with them in major cities of the world. Some of the most commonly cited reasons for unhealthy lifestyle includes food habits and lack of physical exercise. Specifically, the fast food joints like KFC, McDonalds and Pizza hut are found in every corner of the street and more and more people prefer eating at these restaurants due to their easy accessibility. However, the food at these restaurants is rich in carbohydrates, sugar and fat and eating regularly at these restaurants can cause health hazards like obesity and diabetes. Also worth noting is that due to long working hours and with no time to cook, people purchase processed foods from markets, which nutrients and can further cause unnecessary weight gain. In addition to poor food habits, people who work in offices for long haul get extremely tired to engage themselves in any form of physical exercise which further aggravates their health. Although, modern lifestyle can be challenging but solutions exist for each of the problems mentioned above. While considering the food habits, people should restrict eating fast food instead opt for restaurants that offer diet food. Moreover, processed foods can be replaced with healthy alternatives such as fresh salads, fruits and green leafy vegetables that are rich in vitamins and minerals. After a long day at work, consuming fruits could be a best snack option as it energizes body with the right nutrients. Now to resolve the issue regarding lack of physical activity, in between office timings people should take break after every hour and take ten minutes brisk walk which aids in burning calories and staying fit. Also, parking away from office and walking more adds to some physical movements during the day. To conclude, although unhealthy lifestyle is on the rise in major cities of the world but there are steps to resolve this issue which include changing food habits and incorporating some form of physical exercise in our daily life. If we are to stay healthy and live longer, we need to make changes immediately.
In contemporary society,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are getting unhealthier day by day. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
play a key role in this issue. This essay will explore the problems associated with it and
also
offer solutions to deal with them in major cities of the world.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
of the most
commonly
cited reasons for unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
includes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habits
and lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
exercise.
Specifically
, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
joints like KFC,
Did you mean the fast food chain “McDonald’s” (always spelled with a possessive apostrophe)?
McDonalds
and
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
Pizza hut
are found
in every corner of the street and more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer eating at these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurants
due to their easy accessibility.
However
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
at these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurants
is rich in carbohydrates, sugar and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
and eating
regularly
at these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurants
can cause health hazards like obesity and diabetes.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
worth noting is that due to long working hours and with no time to cook,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
processed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
from markets, which nutrients and can
further
cause unnecessary weight gain.
In addition
to poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habits
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who work in offices for long haul
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
Consider using an extreme adjective for ‘tired’.
extremely tired
to engage themselves in any form of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
exercise which
further
aggravates their health.

Although, modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
can be
Use a comma before ‘but’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
challenging
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
solutions exist for each of the problems mentioned above. While considering the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habits
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should restrict eating
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
instead
opt for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurants
that offer diet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
Moreover
, processed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
can
be replaced
with healthy alternatives such as fresh salads, fruits and green leafy vegetables that are rich in vitamins and minerals. After a long day at work, consuming fruits could be
Use “the” with the superlative.
a
best snack option as it energizes body with the right nutrients.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
to resolve the issue regarding lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
activity, in between office timings
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should take break after every hour and take ten minutes brisk walk which aids in burning calories and staying fit.
Also
, parking away from office and walking more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
adds
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
movements during the day.

To conclude
, although unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
is on the rise in major cities of the world
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are steps to resolve this issue which include changing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habits
and incorporating
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
form of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
exercise in our daily life. If we are to stay healthy and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
longer, we need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
immediately.
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IELTS essay nowadays people have adopted an unhealthy lifestyle. why do you think this is? how could you this problem be solved?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
371 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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