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you plan to apply for a course at a language school in London. Write a letter to the school administration. 1) Explain why you want to take a language course2)Give information about yourself3) ask for information about fees and accommodation. v.1

you plan to apply for a course at a language school in London. Write a letter to the school administration. 1) Explain why you want to take a language course2)Give information about yourself3) ask for information about fees and accommodation. v. 1
Now, one of the widely discussed issues is that individuals are spending more hours in their workstations rather than at households. It is undeniable that staying in the organization has become an essential part of our life, but there is no absolute agreement as some people find this beneficial, whilst others consider everything associated with spending more hour in the workstation negatively. One of the main positives of staying more in the company is that the number of hard-working employees may increase, which means that if workers had not spent a huge amount of hour at the workstation in order to complete their projects or other type of responsibilities, the quantity of diligent employees may not have raised. Another benefit is that some members of society prefer to be engaged in their favourite cases, which provide them a plenty of pleasant emotions and happiness. As a result, the workers get lost in the moment due to this passion for the work, and they return to home too late or don't even leave the organization for several days, but this type of lifestyle is an effective way to enjoy life for the ardent workers. Turning to the other side of the argument, one of the primary drawbacks of spending a huge amount of hour in workstation is that the families of these employees may concern about them. This can be exemplified by how a plenty of parents, spouses and children expect their breadwinners during a long time in spite of their cravings to sleep. Another major disadvantage is the possibility of overworking, which may lead to various diseases such as headache, back pain or chronic fatigue. In conclusion, having weighed everything mentioned up, there are solid weaknesses of staying in the organization more than at home, which means that people should attempt to maintain their relationships with relatives and the stable health.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
, one of the
widely
discussed issues is that individuals are spending more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workstations
rather
than at households. It is undeniable that staying in the organization has become an essential part of our life,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there is no absolute agreement as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
find this beneficial, whilst others consider everything associated with spending more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hour
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workstation
negatively
.

One of the main positives of staying more in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
is that the number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
-working employees may increase, which means that if workers had not spent a huge amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hour
at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workstation
in order to complete their projects or other type of responsibilities, the quantity of diligent employees may not have raised. Another benefit is that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
members of society prefer to
be engaged
in their
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
cases, which provide them a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of pleasant emotions and happiness.
As a result
, the workers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
lost
Did you mean "at the moment" (=currently)?
in the moment
due to this passion for the work, and they return to home too late or don't even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
the organization for several days,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this type of lifestyle is an effective way to enjoy life for the ardent workers.

Turning to the other side of the argument, one of the primary drawbacks of spending a huge amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hour
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workstation
is that the families of these employees may concern about them. This can
be exemplified
by how a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of parents, spouses and children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
their breadwinners during a long time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
in spite of
their cravings to sleep. Another major disadvantage is the possibility of overworking, which may lead to various diseases such as headache, back pain or chronic fatigue.

In conclusion
, having weighed everything mentioned up, there are solid weaknesses of staying in the organization more than at home, which means that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should attempt to maintain their relationships with relatives and the stable health.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.
Rita Mae Brown

IELTS essay you plan to apply for a course at a language school in London. Write a letter to the school administration. 1) Explain why you want to take a language course2)Give information about yourself3) ask for information about fees and accommodation. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
311 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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