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Some people believe that nuclear weapons have helped to prevent a third world war.Write an essay which presents the advantages and disadvantages of nuclear weapons.

Some people believe that nuclear weapons have helped to prevent a third world war. Write an essay which presents the advantages and disadvantages of nuclear weapons. rkV2l
It is often argued that nuclear weapons have a great threat to mankind and should get rid of weapons as soon as possible. However it is the maintenance of the country's defence against the great conflicts among the countries. So it is supposed that nuclear weapons are the power to prevent the world war the third. Main advantages of nuclear power are as follows; -to hold peace and security of the country; -to change the power and status of a nation; -to reinforce national borders; -to be a deterrent for starting a major conflicts, as well. There are negative sides of nuclear weapons as we can not hide. Alternatively, some countries may use in own negative intention as to destroy the world, by putting the nuclear weapons button. On the other hand, nuclear weapons cause a threat to everyone or a danger which will be increased much more among the countries. In a nutshell, it must be used in a reasonable way not destroying. It is much safe if we prevent some conflicts, wars in order not to get destroyed the world by the power of nuclear weapons.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that nuclear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weapons
have a great threat to mankind and should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
rid of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weapons
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as possible.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
it is the maintenance of the country's
Possible spelling mistake. 'defence' is British English.
defence
against the great conflicts among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
it
is supposed
that nuclear
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weapons
are the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
the world war the third. Main advantages of nuclear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
are as follows; -to hold peace and security of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
; -to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
and status of a nation; -to reinforce national borders; -to be a deterrent for starting a major conflicts,
as well
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
sides of nuclear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weapons
as we can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hide
.
Alternatively
,
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some
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countries
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
intention as to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
the world, by putting the nuclear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weapons
button.
On the other hand
, nuclear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weapons
cause a threat to everyone or a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
which will
be increased
much more among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. In a nutshell, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
Consider replacing "in a reasonable way" with the adverb for "reasonable"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a reasonable way
not destroying. It is much safe if we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
conflicts, wars in order not to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
the world by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
of nuclear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weapons
.

IELTS essay Some people believe that nuclear weapons have helped to prevent a third world war. Write an essay which presents the advantages and disadvantages of nuclear weapons.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
188 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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