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Baybars inscription and it's details

Baybars inscription and it's details 3gq3N
Another detail in the inscription is the mention of Baybars fulfilling his pilgrimage. We would like to explain this by referring to Baibars' other actions (establishing a caliphate in Cairo, etc. ). Because, in the other inscriptions we have examined -and inscriptions such as mosques, baths, inns in Turkey- there is no information about what the Sultan was doing at that moment or where he was at that moment. Therefore, mentioning of the return of Hajj in Baybars' inscription -a modest claim- may have been at Baybars' special request, and it may have been aimed at bringing his Muslim leader identity to the fore. Moreover, the fact that he made such a maqam over Mose’s grave may have been done with this purpose in mind.
Another detail in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
inscription
is the mention of
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Baybars
fulfilling his pilgrimage. We would like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
this by referring to
Possible spelling mistake found.
Baibars
' other actions (establishing a caliphate in Cairo, etc.
Don't put a space before the closing parenthesis
)
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
, in the other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
inscriptions
we have examined -and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
inscriptions
such as mosques, baths, inns in Turkey- there is no information about what the Sultan was doing at that moment or where he was at that moment.
Therefore
, mentioning of the return of Hajj in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Baybars
'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
inscription
-a modest claim- may have been at
Possible spelling mistake found.
Baybars
' special request, and it may have
been aimed
at bringing his Muslim leader identity to the fore.
Moreover
, the fact that he made such a
Possible spelling mistake found.
maqam
over
Possible spelling mistake found.
Mose
’s grave may have
been done
with this purpose in mind.
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IELTS essay Baybars inscription and it's details

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
125 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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