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students and part time job

students and part time job AaVLN
Knowledge is important, but experience and soft skills are an indispensable part, which you can only get when you work part-time. Learning must go hand in hand with practice for learning to be meaningful. And working part-time is your chance to apply it This will be much better than just learning theory without practice, I think it was a great way to earn extra cash quickly to help my family or pay tuition and gain soft skills through it. Na: So where will you go to work part-time when you don't have enough knowledge to enter the internship company. Working part-time at bars and restaurants won't help you develop the skills you'll need for your future job. Although restaurants and bars can't help you develop the skills you need for your career, it does give you life skills so you can handle life's situations more flexibly and intelligently. I do not deny your opinion. But I think, life skills you can learn in many places, not just working part-time at restaurants and bars. You can join clubs that help develop soft skills, expand good relationships for your future, and especially we can also learn life skills there. The most important thing is that the environment in the Club will also be much safer and healthier than in bars and restaurants. Parents or teachers are always ready to teach you necessary life skills. Thuong: Ok, I got it. Students can choose a suitable job to gain knowledge and practice it in their life. For example, a student majoring in English language can choose some job related to their major such as tutor, assistant teaching, translator. It helps to expand knowledge while gaining skills and experience. Na: Well, It sounds interesting. Students should consider carefully in choosing a part-time job so that it brings many benefits to themselves and the future.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Knowledge
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
experience and soft
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
are an indispensable part, which you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
when you work part-time.

Learning
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
go hand in hand with practice for learning to be meaningful. And working part-time is your chance to apply it

This will be much better than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
learning theory without practice, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it was a great way to earn extra cash
quickly
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
my family or pay tuition and gain soft
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
through it.

Na:
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
where will you go to work part-time when you don't have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
to enter the internship
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
. Working part-time at bars and restaurants won't
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
you develop the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
you'll need for your future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. Although restaurants and bars can't
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
you develop the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
you need for your career, it does give you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
you can handle life's situations more
flexibly
and
intelligently
.

I do not deny your opinion.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
you can learn in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
places, not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
working part-time at restaurants and bars. You can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
clubs that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
develop soft
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
, expand
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
relationships for your future, and
especially
we can
also
learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
there.

The most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
thing is that the environment in the Club will
also
be much safer and healthier than in bars and restaurants.

Parents or teachers are always ready to teach you necessary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

Possible spelling mistake found.
Thuong
: Ok, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
it. Students can choose a suitable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
to gain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
and practice it in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
For example
, a student majoring in English language can choose
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
related to their major such as tutor, assistant teaching, translator. It
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
to expand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
while gaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and experience.

Na: Well, It sounds interesting. Students should consider
carefully
in choosing a part-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that it brings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits to themselves and the future.
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IELTS essay students and part time job

Essay
  American English
8 paragraphs
309 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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