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Some people believe that newspaper is the best source of news. Others think that the news is presented? better on radio or television. Which of these sources of news do you prefer? Use specific examples too? support your choice.

Some people believe that newspaper is the best source of news. Others think that the news is presented? better on radio or television. Which of these sources of news do you prefer? Use specific examples too? support your choice. DVMVm
A plethora of people believe that newspapers are the best source to learn something. Having said that, my firmly belief is television is the best source for a couple of reasons. I will explain and develop my idea in the subsequent paragraphs. To begin with, years years ago, our grandparents have just newspapers to learn something about what is going on on the world. However, technology has developed, and still developing. That is to say, people can reach global and local news easier than newspaper, and they don’t need to buy a newspaper to read all pages. For example, for a few years ago, my sister started to work in a tv channel to prepare evening news. She has difficult job due to fact she has to find news about what happened on the today world. Another key to remember, she is trying to find about local and global news to reach people easier in the evening news. That is to say, she was always saying that ‘technology is developing, and we reach news more easier than newspapers. So, people find out about everything about global and local news thanks to us. ’ Secondly, there are a bunch of tv channels, and you can watch all news channels. Also, it has more pons than newspapers due to fact people can develop themselves, and they can learn new perspectives about their ideas. To put another way, they do not merely reading newspaper. They can see the other of people who has different perspectives. Additionally, television has more sources and much more news than newspaper. That’s why people can learn lots of thing from news, and they can get more information likewise new perspectives. To sum up, when all thing are taken into consideration, the most reasonable conclusion that can be drawn is that people reach news more easier than newspapers from tv, and they can get new perspectives. Additionally, I  have to admit that my opinion on this matter has been profoundly influenced by my own personal experience.
A plethora of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
are the best source to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
something. Having said that, my
firmly
belief is television is the best source for a couple of reasons. I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
and develop my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
in the subsequent paragraphs.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
Possible typo: you repeated a word
years years
ago, our grandparents have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
something about what is going
Possible typo: you repeated a word
on on
the world.
However
, technology has developed, and
still
developing.
That is
to say,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reach
global and local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
easier
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
, and they don’t need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
to read all pages.
For example
, for a few years ago, my sister
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to work in a
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
channel to prepare evening
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
. She has difficult job due to fact she
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
about what happened on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
world. Another key to remember, she is trying to find about local and global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
easier
in the evening
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
.
That is
to say, she was always saying that ‘technology is developing, and we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
easier
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
find out about everything about global and local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
thanks to us. ’

Secondly
, there are a bunch of
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
channels, and you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
channels.
Also
, it has more
Possible spelling mistake found.
pons
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
due to fact
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can develop themselves, and they can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
The usual preposition for "perspectives" is "on" not "about." Revise: "perspectives on".
perspectives about
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
. To put another way, they do not
merely
After the auxiliary verb 'do', use the base form of a verb. Did you mean "read"?
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
. They can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the other of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
perspectives.
Additionally
, television has more sources and much more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
. That’s why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
Possible agreement error. The noun thing seems to be countable; consider using: "lots of things".
lots of thing
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
, and they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more information
likewise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
perspectives.

To sum up, when all thing
are taken
into consideration, the most reasonable conclusion that can
be drawn
is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
easier
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
from
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
, and they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
perspectives.
Additionally
, I
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
admit that my opinion on this matter has been
profoundly
influenced by my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
personal experience.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that newspaper is the best source of news. Others think that the news is presented? better on radio or television. Which of these sources of news do you prefer? Use specific examples too? support your choice.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
337 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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