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Rating children in a proper way

Rating children in a proper way 2RyYb
Learning to distinguish between right and wrong, at a younger age, is a necessity. It is claimed that punishment is the key to imbibe this virtue. Even though disciplining is necessary, being harsh with children, is not an apt course of action. Instead, the need to develop innovative parenting and teaching techniques is a pressing priority. Any sentient organism would respond to stimuli, especially pain. Children are not different and do react to disciplinary actions. Firstly, youngsters need to be corrected as they do not innately have self-restraint and orderliness. For instance, when children accompany their parents to a bank, they need to know how to behave. In such cases, disciplining them is more of a necessity than an option. Besides, disciplining reminds them of their position within the society and institutes modesty in their character. Being young and free-minded, children may act arrogantly and might harm others with their actions or words. It, therefore, is easily understood that penalising youngsters for their wrongdoings would be helpful in their development. Nowadays, parents and teachers need to figure out other constructive methods if they need to continue penalising youngsters. First, instead of corporal punishments, parents may authoritatively deny their children free-time and personal space. For example, in the United States of America, parents adopt this technique wherein a child is not allowed to partake in any leisure activity, and often not allowed to step out of the house. Teachers, on the other hand, should be careful not to hurt young learners mentally, while still be able to correct them. As such, they may ask mischievous students to work on extra assignments or help their peers. Thus, effective disciplining may be practised by both parents and teachers. To conclude, I opine that punishments are required to build a better person. However, parents and teachers should adopt ways which do not harm them physically or mentally.
Learning to distinguish between right and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
, at a younger age, is a necessity. It
is claimed
that punishment is the key to imbibe this virtue.
Even though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disciplining
is necessary, being harsh with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, is not an apt course of action.
Instead
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to develop innovative parenting and teaching techniques is a pressing priority.

Any sentient organism would respond to stimuli,
especially
pain.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
and do react to disciplinary actions.
Firstly
, youngsters
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to
be corrected
as they do not
innately
have self-restraint and orderliness.
For instance
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
accompany their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to a bank, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to know how to behave. In such cases,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disciplining
them is more of a necessity than an option.
Besides
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disciplining
reminds them of their position within the society and institutes modesty in their character. Being young and free-minded,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
may act
arrogantly
and might harm others with their actions or words. It,
therefore
, is
easily
understood that
Possible spelling mistake. 'penalising' is British English.
penalising
youngsters for their wrongdoings would be helpful in their development.

Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and teachers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to figure out other constructive methods if they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to continue
Possible spelling mistake. 'penalising' is British English.
penalising
youngsters.
First
,
instead
of corporal punishments,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
may
authoritatively
deny their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
free-time and personal space.
For example
, in the United States of America,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
adopt this technique wherein a child is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to partake in any leisure activity, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to step out of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
. Teachers,
on the other hand
, should be careful not to hurt young learners mentally, while
still
be able to correct them. As such, they may ask mischievous students to work on extra assignments or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
their peers.
Thus
, effective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disciplining
may be
Possible spelling mistake. 'practised' is British English.
practised
by both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and teachers.

To conclude
, I opine that punishments
are required
to build a better person.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and teachers should adopt ways which do not harm them
physically
or mentally.
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Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay Rating children in a proper way

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
313 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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