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People these days tend to travel abroad for their holidays. Is it a positive or negative trend?

People these days tend to travel abroad for their holidays. Is it a positive or negative trend? EwDVx
It is obvious that there are some aspects of international travel which raise cause for concern. Although it offers one benefit, I believe it is a negative phenomenon. Admittedly, travelling overseas broadens people’s horizons greatly. Being able to visit a foreign country means that travelers can be exposed to a new tradition and lifestyle. As a result, this exposure provide people with a deeper insight into a nation’s culture than media or books do. However, I believe the downside is much greater. To commence with, language barriers are enormous challenges to foreign travelers, especially in non-English speaking countries. The inability to communicate well with the natives of many people may lead to the misinterpretation and communication breakdown. Consequently, they might become isolated and hardly adapt to the environment. In term of the host countries, the influx of travelers is often associated with environmental problems. The overbuilding of tourism infrastructure poses a threat to the natural habitats. Furthermore, many visitors dispose litter very irreponsibly, which contributes to serious contamination. In brief, despite one advantage, it seems to me that the disadvantages are more considerable.
It is obvious that there are
some
aspects of international travel which raise cause for concern. Although it offers one benefit, I believe it is a
negative
phenomenon.
Admittedly
, travelling overseas broadens
people
’s horizons
greatly
. Being able to visit a foreign country means that travelers can
be exposed
to a new tradition and lifestyle.
As a result
, this exposure provide
people
with a deeper insight into a nation’s culture than media or books do.
However
, I believe the downside is much greater. To commence with, language barriers are enormous challenges to foreign travelers,
especially
in non-English speaking countries. The inability to communicate well with the natives of
many
people
may lead to the misinterpretation and communication breakdown.
Consequently
, they might become isolated and hardly adapt to the environment. In term of the host countries, the influx of travelers is
often
associated with environmental problems. The overbuilding of tourism infrastructure poses a threat to the natural habitats.
Furthermore
,
many
visitors dispose litter
very
irreponsibly
, which contributes to serious contamination.
In brief
, despite one advantage, it seems to me that the disadvantages are more considerable.
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IELTS essay People these days tend to travel abroad for their holidays. Is it a positive or negative trend?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
183 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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