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Some people believe that money is the best gift for teenagers while others disagree? Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.3

Some people believe that money is the best gift for teenagers while others disagree? v. 3
It is argued by some that giving cash as an incentive to teenagers on special occasions or otherwise is a bad idea, while others think it is the better option. While it is possible that such funds can be misused by children, I believe the benefits of gifting them money are more than the drawbacks. In this essay, I will discuss both sides of the argument and explain why I agree with the latter view with relevant examples. Those who support the view that paying teenagers is a bad idea, mostly argue that it leads to disastrous consequences. This is because teens can end up spending the amount on unnecessary or illegal items. For example, a recent study indicated that 65% of adolescents spend their pocket money on video games and other electronic gadgets. Therefore, this opinion can be justified due to the above disadvantages. However, I believe that it is a good option to help juveniles with incentives. This is because of two primary reasons. Firstly, it encourages them to learn management of funds, and secondly, it is a great help for aspiring students who are saving up for their college tuition fees. For instance, it can be of use to a lot of kids who engage in part time jobs while they are studying in high school. It is, therefore, a substantial advantage for youngsters looking to improve their managing skills and saving fees for university. To summarize, while there can be some negative outcomes of giving adolescents cash as gifts like unnecessary spending, I believe the positive outcomes, like fund management and saving for college, are far greater and considerable.
It
is argued
by
some
that giving cash as an incentive to
teenagers
on special occasions or
otherwise
is a
bad
idea
, while others
think
it is the better option. While it is possible that such funds can
be misused
by children, I believe the benefits of gifting them money are more than the drawbacks. In this essay, I will discuss both sides of the argument and
explain
why I
agree
with the latter view with relevant examples.

Those who support the view that paying
teenagers
is a
bad
idea
,
mostly
argue that it leads to disastrous consequences. This is
because
teens can
end
up spending the amount on unnecessary or illegal items.
For example
, a recent study indicated that 65% of adolescents spend their pocket money on video games and other electronic gadgets.
Therefore
, this opinion can
be justified
due to the above disadvantages.

However
, I believe that it is a
good
option to
help
juveniles with incentives. This is
because
of two primary reasons.
Firstly
, it encourages them to learn management of funds, and
secondly
, it is a great
help
for aspiring students who are saving up for their college tuition fees.
For instance
, it can be of
use
to
a lot of
kids who engage in
part time
jobs while they are studying in high school. It is,
therefore
, a substantial advantage for youngsters looking to
improve
their managing
skills
and saving fees for university.

To summarize
, while there can be
some
negative
outcomes of giving adolescents cash as gifts like unnecessary spending, I believe the
positive
outcomes, like fund management and saving for college, are far greater and considerable.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that money is the best gift for teenagers while others disagree? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
273 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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