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Some people believe that money is the best gift for teenagers while other disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.2

Some people believe that money is the best gift for teenagers while other disagree. v. 2
Providing opulence to the young ones, unanimity of shrewd believes, is the best gift for them, however, opponents of this idea think, it is not a suitable gift for younger people. I will discuss both the views, before giving any particular opinion, in the upcoming paragraphs. To begin with, giving money as a gift, provide reinforcement to children to work harder. Because when they get money as a gift from their parents and others, it considered as a reward for good deeds, which enhance their confidence and instincts to do good deeds. Moreover, it also boosts management skills for finances. When teenagers get money as a gift they can use it by themselves and they have to manage according to their needs. On the flip side, youngsters can indulge in bad activities if they get a high amount of fiscal al as a gift only because they not understand the value of money and use it for wrong purposes. In addition, it may also leads to juvenile delinquency because once they get luxuries, it may paves them to do crimes for money. For instance, a research conducted in one metropolitan city shows that the children who get enough money in their childhood are 40% more likely to indulge in crime during adulthood. In my opinion, giving money as a present to teenagers is a great gift for children but it should be in restricted manner To conclude, both opinions have their own significance, however it is parents responsibility to tell their children about effective way to use money
Providing opulence to the young ones, unanimity of shrewd
believes
, is the best
gift
for them,
however
, opponents of this
idea
think
, it is not a suitable
gift
for younger
people
. I will discuss both the views,
before
giving any particular opinion, in the upcoming paragraphs.

To
begin
with, giving
money
as a
gift
, provide reinforcement to
children
to work harder.
Because
when they
get
money
as a
gift
from their parents
and others
, it considered as a reward for
good
deeds, which enhance their confidence and instincts to do
good
deeds.
Moreover
, it
also
boosts management
skills
for finances. When
teenagers
get
money
as a
gift
they can
use
it by
themselves and
they
have to
manage according to their needs.

On the flip side, youngsters can indulge in
bad
activities if they
get
a high amount of fiscal
al
as a
gift
only
because
they not understand the value of
money
and
use
it for
wrong
purposes.
In addition
, it may
also
leads
to juvenile delinquency
because
once they
get
luxuries, it may
paves
them to do crimes for
money
.
For instance
,
a research
conducted in one metropolitan city
shows
that the
children
who
get
enough
money
in their childhood are 40% more likely to indulge in crime during adulthood.

In my opinion, giving
money
as a present to
teenagers
is a great
gift
for
children
but
it should be in restricted manner

To conclude
, both opinions have their
own
significance,
however
it is parents responsibility to
tell
their
children
about effective way to
use
money
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that money is the best gift for teenagers while other disagree. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
257 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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