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some people believe that living in big cities is becoming more difficult. others believe that it is getting easier. discuss both views and give ur own opinion. v.1

some people believe that living in big cities is becoming more difficult. others believe that it is getting easier. v. 1
There is some debate that whether lives in rural areas are tough or pleasant. From my personal perspective, I would say that living in this kind of region has both disadvantages and disadvantages and people should adopt the environment of mega cities. On one hand, it is no doubt that people could obtain easier lives in major cities nowdays. This is because job opportunities and entertainment are two main reasons. To be more specific, thanks to the development of technologies and globalization, increasing the number of not only multinational organizations and local companies in big cities, as a result, is inevitable. Thus, more and more people migrate to big cities in order to search for higher employment possibilities and salary as well. In terms of recreation, in big cities there is a great deal of public infrastructures such as museums, movies theatres and shopping centers, therefore, citizens could go to those building easily unlike consuming a lot of time in order to reach it. Take shopping as an example, residents could purchase goods from high-end stores just within a short time; However, they need to pay more efforts if they want to buy those items in urban areas due to the fact that chic shops are really rare in this place. On the other hand, living in big cities is never easy and it seems to get harsher than ever before. Due to the fact that migration from urban areas to rural place is much more popular these days, this phenomenon could raise some negative effects on both: people and the environment in this region. In terms of citizens, a host of mega cities are getting more and more crowed, hence, the cost of living also grow in every aspect of life, consequently, citizens have to tighten their outcome. For instance, people have to pay more money so as to compete with others to buy a good accommodation in a convenient spot in the central city because more people means more desires. Regarding to transportation, people in many big cities have to suffer from gas emissions and delaying in travelling due to countless vehicles. Especially, in peak hours every day, it could be really difficult to commute to work or study. Additionally, toxic gases could affect terribly on the health of people and cause some fatal diseases including lung cancers, asthma. In conclusion, it looks like living in large cities is getting better and worse in particular aspects. Personally, people should take into account that life is complicated and they have to adjust it.
There is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
debate that whether
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in rural areas are tough or pleasant. From my personal perspective, I would say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in this kind of region has both disadvantages and disadvantages and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should adopt the environment of mega cities.

On one hand, it is no doubt that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could obtain easier
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
Possible spelling mistake found.
nowdays
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
job opportunities and entertainment are two main reasons. To be more specific, thanks to the development of technologies and globalization, increasing the number of not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
multinational organizations and local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
,
as a result
, is inevitable.
Thus
, more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
migrate to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
in order to search for higher employment possibilities and salary
as well
. In terms of recreation, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
there is a great deal of public infrastructures such as museums, movies
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatres' is British English.
theatres
and shopping centers,
therefore
, citizens could go to those building
easily
unlike consuming
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time in order to reach it. Take shopping as an example, residents could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
from high-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
stores
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
within a short time;
However
, they need to pay more efforts if they want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
those items in urban areas due to the fact that chic shops are
really
rare in this place.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
is never easy and it seems to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
harsher than ever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. Due to the fact that migration from urban areas to rural place is much more popular these days, this phenomenon could raise
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects on both:
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and the environment in this region. In terms of citizens, a host of mega
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
are getting more and more crowed,
hence
, the cost of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
also
grow in every aspect of life,
consequently
, citizens
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
tighten their outcome.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay more money
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
compete with others to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
accommodation in a convenient spot in the central city
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
means
more desires.
The phrase 'Regarding to' is not correct. Use "Regarding" or "regard to".
Regarding to
transportation,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
suffer from gas emissions and delaying in travelling due to countless vehicles.
Especially
, in peak hours every day, it could be
really
difficult to commute to work or study.
Additionally
, toxic gases could affect
terribly
on the health of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
fatal diseases including lung cancers, asthma.

In conclusion
, it looks like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
is getting better and worse
in particular
aspects.
Personally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should take into account that life is
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
complicated and
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
adjust it.
17Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay some people believe that living in big cities is becoming more difficult. others believe that it is getting easier. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
424 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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