Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

many countries use fossil fuels such as coal or oil as the main sources of energy. however, in some countries the use of alternative sources of energy is encouraged. do you think this is a positive or negative development? v.1

many countries use fossil fuels such as coal or oil as the main sources of energy. however, in some countries the use of alternative sources of energy is encouraged. do you think this is a positive or negative development? v. 1
It is true that some natural resources such as coal and oil are the fundamental sources in many nations for a long time. Recently, some advanced sources have been discovered and those convinced to replace old ones. From my personal perspective, I strongly believe that this tendency absolutely is an advantage in many particular aspects. On one hand, there is a vast range of huge benefits that alternative sources of energy could bring. First of all, people would feel better for their health when they use alternative sources such as wind, solar and tide power in terms of individuals and societies as a whole. To be more specific, some traditional energy including gas, coal and oil release a huge amount of toxic gases into atmosphere when human burn them; However, new energy could produce just a small quantity of gases or none and it is almost safe for human’s health. Additionally, as increasing concerns about climate change caused by traditional fossil fuels, people should reduce the volume of them in order to prevent pollution and improve environment’s standard. Furthermore, according to some experts, the Earth is running out of fossil fuels soon. Hence, if people want to obtain permanent progress, they should start using alternative energy as soon as possible. On the other hand, as a matter of fact that this trend could have some drawbacks. As regard to nation’s prosperity, some countries could be slow down in terms of developing the economy. This is because alternative energy generally more expensive than fossil fuels and it also requires a great deal of time so as to create and use. For example, in some developing countries it could be very difficult to courage people purchase solar panels in order to use for cooking and warming up due to the fact that solar panels are quite costly and they do not afford. In conclusion, regardless of possible disadvantages, i would say that alternatives sources of energy would bring many benefits and people should practise to use it because of various valuable positive effects.
It is true that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
natural resources such as coal and oil are the fundamental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
nations for a long time. Recently,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
have
been discovered
and those convinced to replace
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
ones. From my personal perspective, I
strongly
believe that this tendency
absolutely
is an advantage in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
particular aspects.

On one hand, there is a vast range of huge benefits that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alternative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
could bring.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would feel better for their health when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alternative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
such as wind, solar and tide power in terms of individuals and societies as a whole. To be more specific,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
including gas, coal and oil release a huge amount of toxic gases into atmosphere when human burn them;
However
, new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
could produce
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
quantity of gases or none and it is almost safe for human’s health.
Additionally
, as increasing concerns about climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
caused by traditional fossil fuels,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the volume of them in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
pollution and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
environment’s standard.
Furthermore
, according to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
experts, the Earth is running out of fossil fuels
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
.
Hence
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want to obtain permanent progress, they should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alternative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as possible.

On the other hand
, as a matter of fact that this trend could have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks. As regard to nation’s prosperity,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries could be slow down in terms of developing the economy. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alternative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
generally
more expensive than fossil fuels and it
also
requires a great deal of time
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
create and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
.
For example
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
it could be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult to courage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
solar panels in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
for cooking and warming up due to the fact that solar panels are quite
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
costly and
they do not afford.

In conclusion
, regardless of possible disadvantages,
Did you mean "I"?
i
would say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alternatives
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
would bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
Possible spelling mistake. 'practise' is British English.
practise
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of various valuable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay many countries use fossil fuels such as coal or oil as the main sources of energy. however, in some countries the use of alternative sources of energy is encouraged. do you think this is a positive or negative development? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
341 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts